Smelling Rain

I set two contradictory goals today. I'm not really sure why they collided, but such as it is...we'll see what happens.

1. I took the blog off public listing with Blogger. It got annoying. People clicking "next" flying through. It's like a parade, and with possibility, but I just got tired of the traffic.

2. At the same time, I changed my blogger picture -- put in a shot I took last year at the park of myself when I was watching my kids play, just having fun with the camera. It's "Mommy Incognito". Secret Service Mommy. How 'bout that?

(I love that Swarzenegar movie about the Mom/wife hungry for the thrill of undercover. What was the name of that? The hotel scene was just hysterical.)

Changed my profile...change is good to try on a day when you feel too good to be sick, and too sick to feel good. Rearrange a picture, clean your desk, move the clothes hamper so your husband can't find it...those sort of things. He said tonight that it kept his life interesting -- he's learned something in 12 years. He really used to get a quite upset when I started moving things. He's the stability around here.)

I don't feel good enough to be productive tonight. TV sounds not productive enough...I'll write in a very random way with random thoughts on random subject matter. Why this seems more productive to me, I'm not sure, but at least it shuts off the whining in my head until Tylenol kicks in with it's magic.

Wish I'd thought of Tylenol before the chocolate bar. The "sugar and chocolate oozing through my veins" sounded good until after I ate it. Now it feels more like saddlebags on my thighs.

I just biked 42 miles last week to get in shape, now I'm talking about cream pies and World's Finest Chocolate. Another conumdrum. Tomorrow, I will conquer. Could be hormones.

Moving on...

MasterLife is one deceptive peice of study so far. After Beth Moore, a cinch. Sort of. At first. To be honest, it was giving me a break from the level of reading and study I generally do on my own. It's a slower pace, quite repetitive, and with familiar passages. Even the memory work this week I'd done before. I was thinking..."Hmmm. I am looking pretty godly and getting away with a cake walk here...this is going to be interesting -- do I relax and flow with it, or press harder?"... "I think I'll try relax and flow...that's a new one."

Well, after the third day of drawing that circle in the margin with Christ in the center and me NOT? I realized that's only on the drawing. Waiting for God to make it all more clear. But, in essense, "I" wins.

Taking care of me.

Tonight, read some Purpose Driven Life devotion from a little leather book I found with just the scriptures from Purpose. Talk about pushing the knife in.

I've been under such restless conviction tonight...I'm not even sure why! Could be hormones.

I don't think so really.

I'm not sure what God is asking of me, but there's that subtle gnawing feeling of the winds of change starting to lift the blades of grass around my feet. A few minutes before, the sun was shining bright and the air was hot, dry, and still. That ever so subtle temperature drop. Just startint to appreciate the cool day when I realize...a change is in the air. Look up, the leaves are turning shimmery, the clouds approaching from a distance. Time to move. Clean up the bikes. Close the paint can. Cover the sand box. Get ready to move quickly.

Prepare...for something. And wait.

~Me