9/30/2005

Gas PM Day 2

Still no gas. Two plumbers, the head honcho, and local gas guy later.

After some gas line locating electronic gas line finder, just found the leak...buried somewhere under about a twenty foot stretch of blacktop in the driveway.

Tomorrow's birthday party will certainly be a multi-tasking event it would appear. Not exactly what I had planned.

On to find an oven to bake a cake and find some grub out to eat...I'm so tired of balogna sandwiches...but, the chips and dip sure saved me!

Gas Midday

The main leak seems to be fixed, but we are still losing pressure. The actual plumbers haven't come yet...supposed to come soon.

The gas co. people aren't allowed into the house. They've done all they can outside.

So, wait.
---
Today, a lot of angst over a lot of things. Hopefully I'll still get things ready for my son's birthday party tomorrow. Good thing I thought to get gifts earlier than usual this year! I better get those wrapped now and plan on cooking later. He'll be 9! Wow. Growing as tall as me!

Me!

Day 2. Bad Gas

Oh, sweet darling, "blogger"--you are back!

I thought I had lost you in that incision last night. You were gone for a "one hour" schedule maintenance, and you didn't come back all night or all morning!

I was so worried.

I had your sidebar all fixed and you looked so good. (Okay, so I lost the names in the sidebar for comments to get this done, but it's okay...we all understand.)

I'm glad you are here. Back. Safe and sound. I may need you today if it's anything like yesterday.

Surely I am not talking to my blog. Yesterday took it's toll I'm afraid.

But, I am thankful...for clothes to iron and laundry to fold in the middle of the night to catch up housework. And for a radio with a broken anntenae and an old wire hanger I fished out from behind the dryer to get reception to Christian radio. I heard some new stuff...GOOD stuff! Some girl sang like Whitney Houston, and I liked it. Some song about "What If" Jesus didn't...this and that, but "what if He did!" And another about, uh. Jesus. I can't remember! But, it had a good beat... good to fold socks to.

Well, here we go again. Plumbers and father-in-law and maintenance dudes to the rescue. I better get some grub. You know how they find where the leak is? They put bad smelling stuff in the line to know where it leaks out....pretty rank stuff!

Me!

9/29/2005

Bad Gas

Today: Good things...

*Tracked down extinct parts to seal off 3 gas yard lamps for the gas test...thank God for the help from the gas co. and the junk drawer!
*The workers stayed and helped when we couldn't find the gas problem.
*My husband came home at noon today to help when there was a gas problem.
*My son stopped throwing up
*I still have hot water in my bath! Electric water heater on that end of the house...I forgot! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
*I still have one more day for God to heal this gas problem before I have to cook my son's favorite birthday cake.
*I had enough underwear clean for our household before they shut off my gas dryer...and it's still off.
*Praise God that the line they cut tonight will most assuredly by faith and request fix the aforementioned gas problem. Please, please. please!

Yikes...Thursday

Today. Well, I have no idea what got into today. I see the sidebar is still missing. Add a boy whose been throwing up, a girl to go get from school in an hour, a third who is bored to death (thanks for the rescue Daddy), picture day at school we could not miss, a gas inspection I forgot about and needed to be present for (Aaaaah!) and rescuing grandparents I could not live without.

So many rescues since that I'm dizzy...just to make a simple day work. Yeesh.

A gas leak in the gas line to my house -- I've run all over town for parts...replaced three valved to get good shutoffs...still a leak. Finally found another under the house...now we need to rip up the deck and instal another cutoff to make sure that's it. At least it's been outside. They found a small leak in the attic above the garage. Still not holding pressure...now holes in the back yard (did I mention my husband is out there digging with one good hand? Wow.)

If the gas company ever wants to inspect your house for gas leaks...do it. They told me it would take an hour and a half...it's like seven hours later and still clocking. I won't have gas at all until we get that fixed. Glad we found out there are leaks, and at least they were small and outside. Now that they've blown air pressure throught the lines and cleared all the cobwebs and such? Big leaks.

Thank God for microwaves!

I'm worn out and have been stressed out for so long I have no stress left :-).

It's 2:00--just I've tried the nap--my humor may be returning somewhat. Well, I have a minute to sit down a minute and focus anyway.

Boy! I'm REAL glad yesterday was such fun but it sure does make today long and hard!

Well, I'd like to keep playing, but I'd better "bond" with my laundry room before the troop comes back to light pilots (hopefully). They needed to be in the most messy spots of my house... as all repairmen tend to do...all 5 of them. How embarrassing. Oh, I guess everybody's laundry room looks like a total mess. If yours doesn't, please don't tell me about it today!

On to whites...sorting socks...my very favorite! (Not!)

Me

9/28/2005

God... Crawling?

Ever have one of those days when you have to hit the ground running, yet there is so much adrenaline and positive energy to it that you look back just stunned that it was even you or your day?

This was one of those days.

God was just crawling over over my day. Seriously. That's about all I can say. I've had chills so many times today just sensing His favor and presence and guidance and hand...it's mind boggling really.

If I weren't so tired, I'll tell you more about it. Some days like this, you just can't even explain really. It's heart wrenching...how much God loves us and knows exactly what we need to make everything work out right. How he heals and deals and knows and flows. I sure do love Him. He's my main man. He takes care of me...of everything. My van. My friends. My life. My plans. My fun. My food. My kids. My family. My house. My joy. To walk in full obedience and in his blessing? Whew. See Hebrews 4, The Message. Love that translation...so new and freshly worded. Hit me today. That's the ticket. Right there. Eat it up.

Yawn. Last time I felt like this was as a little girl after a day at the amusement park...so need a bar of soap and my soft pillow, not sure which will come first. Yaaawwwn.

Sidebar Issue

Well, something happened to my sidebar.

I really think someone stole it, too!

Now that is costly to replace. If you took it or know who did, a reward could be given, depending.
I'm going to wait until morning until I start to worry too much about aspects of the code "not coding".

Blogger did some site maintainence today. Here's hoping it will all be better in the morning!

Aaaah! My links to you are not handy for me tonight dear blogger friends!!

Question from PDBlogger

Tunz is stuck. Good question to mull. I'll think on it today. See if you guys come up with anything.

Am studying "Parenting with Purpose and Grace" at this time. Was stumped by the question...How do you know when you are loved?

It's not the big things in life that confuse me.

Any understanding for this?

I wrote an answer, but it keeps getting deeper and deeper depending on who I think about! I deleted my first attempt. I'll try again later.

Look forward to those who might have thoughts. I've got a full day today...I'd better sit on it and travel with it.

9/27/2005

Too Much

Okay, I budgeted way too much laundry on my agenda today. So, that will be a week-long project on the baby clothes and fall wardrobe.
*---------------------------------------*
I don't know how to do kids birthday parties...I want to do better this year than "blah". Ya'll pray for me. I am so typically uninspired. Got a couple ideas of the net for a transformer party. Maybe. Lord, do it. Help me. We had a cake and a few presents and pin the tail on the donkey...drop the clothes pins in the mason jar every year. Was special, but not overkill. Now, there's inflatable slides and skating parties and zillions of friends. I won't go that far. But, I want it to be an admirable attempt.
*---------------------------------------*
Mom went to see my Navy brother. Said he had a beer can in his hand the entire time she was there, didn't act blessed at all to see her and overall, seemed to act like a jerk from her perspective. Let me at him. I don't mind the military culture, but his mother sees him twice a year. Give her a treat...make her feel loved. Let her know things are okay. Do the new Dad thing. Stop flounting independance like you own it. You fight for it, but you don't have to be a jerk about it.

Well, I'm a little less than positive tonight. Time to catch some shut eye and let the Lord heal my perspective overnight. Go to it.

The end.
Me.

Conspiracy Theory

A couple fun and/or thought provoking and unrelated entries I ran across today at: Code, Code World, by Bill Coupe
  1. On Relationships-and-Changes
  2. Rita/ Katrina as a Conspiracy Theory

What do you think?

~Me

Accomplishment of the Week

Here is the gift stool from my husband. Love it, sitting more every day. Just really a bit traditional for my spa-geared bathroom I think I'm shooting for. Sort of a faux Stucco/Fresco, thing going on.

coincidentally, a friend said to me last week when I was visiting in Tennessee, "I remember you had a big palm tree in your bathroom. I found this nice piece of Waverly fabric at a yardsale and realize I don't have a use for it. Thought you might. Take it. " Palm trees on it.

Well, I didn't have a use for it, hadn't even though of using palm trees.

A week later, we bought the stool.

A few days later my S-I-L said, "You need pics above that tub...I think palm trees would look nice in here."

I remembered the new fabric.

So, today while the laundry cycled, I tried to recover the stool. I thought the staple gun would handle it underneath. No such luck...found out the whole stool would have had to be dismantled.
So, instead I held temporarily it in place with some staples in the corners, then used this curved embroidery needle to topstitch it over the new fabric with a running stitch under the bottom edges. (This needle comes in handy when the kids rip stitching out of your sofa as well. Not that my own darling children would ever do such a thing. Ha.)

Look at that. Don't know how long it will hold, but I like it. Me and rrrgh, rrrgh...the tools.
Palm Tree...did the walls a few months ago, too. The Fresco rough wall thing. Already had everything else scattered around our old house...wicker baskets and chest and stuff. I have a great bathroom in this old house.

Well, that's my first attempt toward the decorating this week. Thanks for the push, Carol.

Tuesday StuFfs

Lunchtime Check-In. Warning: today's noon post is rather boring.
I'm warning you.


Still here?


Okay, well...here's what's on my mind:
  • Vaccummed two rooms before 8. That was actually fun to get done early.
  • 9--took 30 minute walk with Misty pushing a 40 lb. toddler. No "roadkill" today. GREAT breeze. Guarded my knee flared with tendonitis. Many laughs...she identified the Linsey Wilson "blog stalker" for me. I feel much safer now. (Hi, LW!) :-) Glad you keep me company now!
  • 10:00--home: Ate World's Finest Chocolate Carmel Chocolate bar. Out of Krispies...:-( I know this seems counterproductive, but it's for the children. We must stay balanced in our goals. :-)
  • Had Quiet Time with my "Attributes/Names of God" book. Practiced some new guitar chords.
  • 11- Short nap with breeze blowing through the window. The walk wore me out and Red was happy on the computer.
  • Woke to phonecall. Enjoyed the stillness and breeze for some time. Quiet...Peaceful....Still. Listened for a while...mulled productive possibilities for the day.
  • 12-Laundry calls. Will get clothes washed for baby drive with 40 Days of Community/Put away kids summer clothes cluttering the laundry room/
  • Need to also write four cards. Play with "Red". Plan Son's 9 yr. old birthday party for Saturday (short out of town trip to try to find "Transformer" decor tomorrow!)

I'd better get all caught up today.

Adios Amigos! Vamanos!

9/26/2005

The Lost Quiet Time

Well, Tunz commented on the inspirational nature of the mulling of "Quiet Times". I was so excited I thought I'd go back and see what it said.

Know what? It's gone! Somebody took it!

Either that or I thought it was way too long and deleted it. (I did learn code for truncating posts today, I know you are thanking me).

So, recap: the first thought in that great and inspiring peice was: 1. There is no reason Quiet Times can't be creative and based on/using other interests you have to keep them vibrant instead of just rote. See, Morning Light. Consider things like scrapbooking scriptures if your brain or emotions are dead (if you get into that), writing a song if you can't engage, take a walk--just enjoy Him for a few days.

Don't look for distractions. But, my point is, some days, you need to do what it takes to involve yourself more fully.

Jesus didn't carry lists or a journal if you get my drift. And walking on water sounds like a bit of fun to me! I think he was having a ball out there scarying the guys somehow. I can just hear him saying: "I knew that one would get 'em." snicker. Frankly, I bet he did rock wall climbing to get up that mount, too. Why do you think he always went to the mount? (Okay, holy place. But other than that?)

I'm using my imagination here, but the guy just didn't seem stuffy to me...seemed like he had a good time doing what he did and took the time not just to be "disciplined", though he was disciplined through the things which he suffered, scripture tells us. He enjoyed God. Enjoyed that time. Was refilled and refueled and prepared. I love to feel prepared, don't you? Nothing like it.

So. #2. The balance I suppose. Discipline is not always fun. No discipline is pleasant at the time.

So, a paradox here.

Know Him...know the word.

I'm just making the point here that we have to find a way to make the things we think we don't like doing fun for us--as much fun as we can.

With that in mind, as I said before, studying in college was often not "fun" for me. I got sick for tests, but I continued to study-- sitting on the toilet. I had a goal (besides getting off the toilet). Do we still have a goal? The goal made it fun for me (okay, at least bearable). The goal made the obstacles feel worth hurdling. The dings and scrapes worth it.

What's your goal? How are you letting him challenge you? Some of you are doing GREAT...better than I ever have. But somebody needs to know that He blesses those who fervently seek Him. Go for it. Run the race with endurance. Meet the goal. As you run toward the goal, if you get tired...stop and enjoy the view.

Me

Monday StuFfs

I appreciate you guys. I just wanted you to know that today. I got the most heartfelt calls and emails from several friends today because of the blog connection...what a joy. Some local. Some long distance. Some challenging. Some hysterical.

Thank you. You are the best. You make my life great.

My best guess is, you come here because you must love the Lord and my family...otherwise you couldn't tolerate the bad writing, spelling and grammar. So many of you check several times a day! I could write a well-acclaimed book and not have as many warm fuzzies. (Okay, the money would be nice...very nice, but other than that. And fame isn't a bad thought...but who needs that. And there is nothing like a great title. Anyway...)
Tonight was spectacular.

  • A trip to the store.
  • Enough laundry clean for another day.
  • An awesome fried chicken salad we fixed at home.
  • A chill in the air.
  • Red learning to play "Lego" Racer on the computer, whooping it up, so proud of his ramps. (I'll not have full access to my computer from here on out no doubt!)
  • Teaching him numbers with old flash cards we found cleaning.
  • Scrubbed clean my oven, racks and all.
  • Cleaned out two big cabinets,
  • Cleaned two bathrooms,
  • Finished both study books...

I guess I did get something done somewhere. Well on my way to a life of organization (by the time I'm 70).

I love life.

G'Night.

Sad, but True

A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama today when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained as much as possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the University of Kentucky Football Team Department, whom the court and the boy firmly believe are not capable of beating anyone.


The End.

Fearful?


I did have somewhat of a quiet time this morning I guess. I just didn't feel like praying, so it didn't feel like a great one.

I read in my A-Z book of attributes of God while the kids ate breakfast...just needed to be reminded of his character and sovereignty this morning.

Working and cleaning today, I realize that I've heard this same scripture, same translation, 4 times in the last two days--never heard it before today that I recall. Hmmm. Time to examine...



"For the Holy Spirit, God's gift,
does not want you to be afraid of people,
but to be wise
and strong,
and to love them
and enjoy being with them." 2 Timothy 1:7 TLB.

Does that hit you as hard as it does me?

Are we really afraid of each other?

Not afraid, as in terrified, but afraid, as in...I don't want to be hurt (not again, never again), or mistaken, misunderstood, or taken advantage of, or inconvenienced....

You know, I think that God wants us to grant the blessing to others of honoring them by enjoying them. Not just tolerating them or enduring them, or passing by them, or greeting them. To enjoy them. Truly. The people He has made. To learn to enjoy being with them. To forgive. To accept. To trust Him by allowing ourselves to enjoy them...all.

Wow. How hard is that?

Sometimes I am too tired. Preoccupied. Careful. Guarded.

Something new to work on! I need to make sure I am still enjoying all His people! To be "wise and strong", but enjoy.

~Me!

Better Digital Photography


Cheesy 2004 Christmas photo there...

Anyway, as soon as I find my camera I laid somewhere the end of last week, I plan to read these handy dandy little articles to add excitement and drama to my photography life.
Short Course on Using Digital Cameras says: "Holding the camera correctly, bracing it, and breathing correctly can also reduce camera motion." Hmmm. Too technical for me, (not breathing, the article.) Let's move on...

Dummies Guide: Anybody heard of the framing in thirds rule?
Kodak's 10 Camera Tips: A few new ideas...reiterates the thirds rule.
Very Cool Ideas (Make a Personalized Memory Game/Great links at bottom)
All for today.
~Me!

Lost

Today I am emotionally wiped out.

The push to stay high for weekends and leading worship and doing what needs to be done with all the family home just leaves me feeling numb some Monday mornings. I miss people. I miss the smiles and the worship and the warmth and the high praise. I miss people I didn't get to talk to or connect with as I could have or should have. I miss opportunities I had and didn't take. Regret things I did and perhaps shouldn't have done...







I just wasn't finished. Now it's over. It's Monday. People are strayed and busy and in their own element.

I don't feel like having my quiet time today. I'm not sure why.

I got the two to school, came home, and fell back into bed. Woke up to find Red holding my feet like a stuffed animal, asleep, his head peeking out three layers of blankets and pillows. So sweet. Got back up to capture a moment of silence.

Now, what to do today. The stay-at-home mom.

Promised to write cards to the janitorial staff for Sunday school yesterday--just feel like my soul isn't into encouragement yet. I hate to just "do it". Maybe if I get started it will finish better.

Also, mulling a call I got on the machine Sat. A lady called to see if I would participate in an abstinence program at the middle school.

I'm not sure why, but that totally freaked me out. I guess because it's such a delicate thing, I don't know her well, and don't know what would be expected of me or what I should say. I have a lot to say...just caught me off guard I guess. I need to call her back. If we have a doorway, it needs to be taken -- middle school is a good age to hit it I guess.

Middle school. My son will be there in three years. Amazing! New thought there.

I'm rambling aimlessly today, not even sure why I chose to write. Hoping to find an answer I suppose. Just can't quite figure out how to start this day or what to do with it. Sounds like a good day to clean. Requires no thought.

Lord, teach me to number my days aright. Lead me. I feel lost today somehow.

9/25/2005

Request

Okay, so if you are a family member who can't get enough of me ;-)
(and there are a couple of you out there, God bless you),
welcome to the inner sanctum with that last post.

Until more is known, I wanted to ask you to please keep your hats on
that information until more is known. My pregnancies have not been without worry, physical stress for me, and strain for the whole family--I have a heart condition that keeps it quite interesting! God challenges me for sure. I'll keep you posted-- if you behave. :-)

If you've already told family...well, that happens, too. A risk I took in choosing to have fun. Some carry my stress and really can't afford to when there is no real stress.

I'd sure appreciate it! Pinky swear?

Oops

Today I am reveling in my independence.
I am in a funny frame of mind, still hearing seventies and eighties rock songs in my head.
I should have known there was a terrible wiring problem when these odd happy tunes started during the aforementioned bike ride yesterday morning!

So, yesterday we got a lot done and I'm headed to bed (early, per goal). So, I flip on the bathroom lamp...first time all week I've been going to bed so late. (I've been getting ready for bed in the dark going to bed slightly after my husband, not wanting to wake him, tired from the rehab on his arm.)

I start to take my meds for the night and I am at the end of the first week of BC pills.

I suddenly threw myself to the floor, began to beat my hands like a Banshee woman, screaming, "No!, NO! It's can't be! I did NOT, just DO THaT!"

My husband is in the room and he's like, "What?! What? What is it? Come on, get up. Shhh."

I said, "I can't. This is not good. Not good. Go look. Oh, my!!! Tell me I did NOT just do that."

He says, "Okay...where?"

I said, "THERE...there... ON... THE... SINK!" pointing, still in my prostrate position, head now on the floor...



He said, "Okay, it's your pills, and you've taken a week and I don't see that you've missed any. That is good."

I said, "No, I've not missed any....but somehow I took the entire week of placebo pills to start the pack."

"Oh. That would be bad. How could that happen?"

"Well, I turned the container upside down when I started and never looked at it the rest of the week. I just kept punching them out. It was dark. I couldn't see. I just did. That's what I did. "

"Are you sure they were placebos?"

"There is one left. It is white. All the others in the pack are pale yellow."

"But, no, you're okay. See, here. Look, the drug name is right about this line. You should have been taking them all anyway. They are all active. I think it's still an active week...You just took the wrong week. It's okay."

"It was a placebo week."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it was."

"Let me see the paperwork."

"It was a placebo."

"Where are the papers?"


"I don't know. I threw them away. There are more in the closet."

Dig.
He reads. Reads. rEads. I'm still on the floor.

He concludes, "Those were placebos."

"Yeah. Placebos." (Note, the absence of "I told you that.")

"Okay. So, you just took a week of placebos...God is still in control of this one."

"Yup."

"I was going to do something about that this year."

"Yup."

"Should be interesting."

"Yup."

I have an independent 4 yr old. A sassy 6 year old. And a very smart eight year old.
Brown, blond, and red-headed. Neapolitan ice cream. Perfect. They are playful, shy, and bold.
I miscarried a twin the last time. That makes it more likely I might have twins in the future.

Wow. I trust the Lord. But, when I said I held a sweet cuddly little baby last week, I wan't really hinting or anything.

I could handle it now...I think. My health is good again. Mostly.

Wow.

Just think. Or maybe try not to think. The odds aren't that high. Right?

Nah.

Babies are cuddly...sometimes.


40 Days of Community Begins!

Today was awesome. 40 Days of Community Started.

Band? Had a new bass and monitors were still wacked, but there was such a buzz with newness.

I had been grieving changes of our small group "mutliplying", but we still had 19! The new group had 30 some odd flock into it--we had to take them chairs! People looking for a place. Great!

God is good. Members in our class who seldom share in a larger group DID in a smaller one. Incredible--we counted 7-8 who never share and did today.

Group dynamics are so predictable, yet it feels unpredictable every time. Why do we doubt? So much room to grow and become something new again!

Praying about those I can reach for Christ...the hump I need to get over...evangelism. I'm now getting hit by MasterLife AND Saddleback's pastor! A new study to do to kick me in the tail to add to MasterLife. Funny, thinking back, I prayed SO HARD for God to get me to the next level this year! I'm seeing that it must take two intensive classes hitting me at a time to move me, but by golly, He is sure pushing me, and I LOVE IT!

Wow. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the feeling of freedom to grow and be and do for you, to learn to love...to reach a community for you!

me

9/24/2005

Note on R.C.s Guesstimates

RE: R.C. Guesstimates.

Those are in no particular order--he organizes them the way he thinks will play well ono a downloaded CD.

August still has my vote as a whole. September's either too nostalgic or too "hard" for this chick.

Farming & Mylon LeFevre

Well, I've helped trim my first "pasture" today. My husband and his Dad "clipped" them (as opposed to mowing, even and meticulous). We are going to have to get some grass eating animals out there I suppose...you know who is going to feed these grass eating animals? I have a feeling my dh is going to convert me to a farm girl yet.

Was kind of nice out there. Turn off the brain...watch the fields turn green...


They had some race-horses to be out there...the last owners. They were nice to watch, and somebody else fed 'em. We're cow people...I have a feeling the silhouette in the sunlight may not be quite the same. I don't know. I used to enjoy the cattle on his farm before.

I fell in love with a farmer. Loved watching them work.

Saturday. Plan to extricate the oil based paint from my skin with gasoline...assuming I can afford that bath (I told my husband I'd used finger nail polish remover before to do it, but that was getting costly. He said I may want to recalculate that...true.) The guy from the local gas station said today he got one load of diesel...one of gas. He thought that would probably be the last shipment for a while. Whew. We may be in for a culture shock here soon.

So, this is the first time I've mowed with this mower. When flames come out of the exhausts, that's probably bad? I assume I gave it too much choke. I thought it was my imagination at first, but I was wearing flip flops (stupid idea) and started to feel heat as well. Then it happen again when I tried to recrank. Had to wait a good 5 minutes before it would entertain the notion of starting for me again. But, it did. Glad I didn't have to be rescued...sort of a long walk back home.
It's sure been a good week. Been thinking of that old Mylon LeFevre and Broken Heart Song, "Sun comin' up just across the road, dusk is well on it way. Mornin' Sun is still in my sight. The whipperwill, the only sound. Praise the Lord all ye nations and sing praise to him all ye people...again and again." I'm old. Was remembering running across a field with a friend at an outdoor concert because we thought we spotted him and she wanted an autograph. I was never much of an autograph person, but he was thrilled by our excitement and talked to us a while. We were so proud of ourselves. Well, that's all the "gee I sound old" nostalgia for tonight.

My kids are watching a "SuperNanny" marathon on TV starring demon kids...I'm not sure if they are watching it to gain an appreciation for my job, or to learn how to make my life miserable. What do you think? I better go watch with them so I know what I'm up against. The child is currently ripping the door off.

Me

Sat. STufFs

Today, I am PMWF...(painting more white fence). Sounds more hip, happening, and exciting in an abbreviation, I think. For my dear husband, making his day, earning my keep, all that.

He just came in for a break from his job (mowing the fields behind the house) and dropped a Sprite getting it out of the frig. So, I'm mopping the kitchen floor.

Only mopped as far as the computer where I also found chocolate poptart all over my computer desk, and all over the floor where my kids were nesting and playing computer games earlier while I was PMWF. I decided I needed to stop and blog to survive the rest of the mopping experience so that I could move back to the PMWF experience...



There have to be more entertaining ways to spend a Saturday. But I am content. Really. Fulfilled. Completely in my element. With it. Enjoying it. I am. No kidding. I am not thinking about any of the other things I could be doing today. I am focused. Alert. Doing the thing.

Took a leisurely bike ride this morning (led her last weekend, finally....killed my left knee...it's been screaming at me all week). Today...just enjoyed the weather, the trees, even the little Marine guy that passes me and feels compelled to yell "encouaragement" each week: "Better catch up, she's beating you!".

Nope. Not today. Today I was hearing in my head an old youth score we used to sing when I was 14 or so.
"Run your own race,
when everyone is way ahead.
Set your own pace.
Run it like a thoroughbred.
Though you're slow now,
you're still a breed a part.
When the Spirit is running in your heart."

Then, downhill on the fly, playback switched to,
"Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air,
I never thought I could feel so free.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer...
Ccould it be?
Believe it or not, it's just me."

Kind of corny, but I had an enjoyable hours worth of relaxed riding--in pain, still got it done. Felt good to keep going.

Well, Poptart, and Sprite floors call...I can no longer resist (er...don't want to get caught sitting down on the job.)

Have fun!

Me

9/23/2005

The Princess Bride

This Guy Falls Down has a reading club going on and this month they chose to read The Princess Bride (entire play script here).

The couple who first discipled us as a young married couple while we were in college (or attempted to help disciple us, bless their hearts) claimed this as a favorite movie. We saw it countless times and roared every time. I love it.

Beware youth ministers. When our youth minister was relatively new here, he decided to play it in the sanctuary on the big screens for the youth. He forgot about the "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." final scene. He shouts an S-O-B, uncharacteristic to the rest of the film which could be heard in adjacent counties I'm sure.

I don't have time to read the book right now, but fter hearing handsome field boy Westley say, "As you wish", to Buttercup, I'm set for life.

Look forward to the comments coming in there. Should be some interesting answers to some puzzling questions raised.

Site Visitors

Maybe I'm supposed to ignore the site meter...SO fun to see where readers come from. Usually information is just a number, a service provider, a state.

One I've been seeing a lot recently though, says Linsey Wilson College. Well, I just think that's cool. Drop me a line if you like. In fact, I like hearing from everybody. Thanks for the notes from those of you I know and those I don't so well. You make it great fun to blog!

Later!
Me

Weekend Challenge--"Quiet Times"

The prior pic post was actually a segueway into this post...my challenging post for the week. (I like to do that going into weekend. Everyone else is leaving something light and humorous for people to find...then, there is my post, wanting something thoughtful on my mind so that I can play hard and still mull something significant -- multitasking at it's finest.)

Subject: "quiet times".


To begin I'm going to start out by disagreeing -- arguing with the standard. Be prepared to have your wits rattled a bit.

I've been trying to hit this "regular quiet time" thing for about seventeen years now. That's a long time. I've attacked that goal with more fervor than anything else in life. I want to know God and live a life for Him, and do what it takes to get to that point. Not there yet, but that's the goal. As I see it, seventeen years or so makes a person somewhat of an expert. (Okay, so just humor me anyway).

Disclaimer: I've only tried to establish an effective "quiet time" for myself and not anyone else!

Why that is significant is entirely my point, actually. Some say, if it works, it works. Do it my way and it will work for you. Well...sort of.

Maybe.

Not necessary.

Yes, you have to start somewhere and guides are helpful.

Let's consider this method--the one most frequently advocated. The "same time, same place, first thing in the morning, everyday, hitting it all at one time method". I actually wonder if it really works that way for anybody, but that's not something I can prove just yet, so we'll leave it there as a model.


I think this model can develop a high fail rate. It did for me. If felt like I was not getting much of anything "done" they said to do...so I was not as super-godly as I needed to be to call it a real quiet time. I was seldom able to hop up out of bed early before the alarm (or even at the sound of the alarm), stay focused, and get it all done. If I missed "the time, the place, the spot", I just skipped the whole thing and called it a missed day...a failure.

The pattern and the suggestions are only meant to help you establish a habit. If you miss the ideal...what do you do? What do you do in college if you miss your regular study time...skip it altogether? You could try that. A few times.

So, life gets busy and sleep gets lost, and the ideal is gone...what then? What about when family gets sick, you get sick...you get pregnant (okay, some of you)...what then? What of the "regular quiet time" that's supposed to carry you through? Do we just rely on the past regular quiet times during those seasons? Sure! I can!

For about 10 days.
Then, what?
I'm dying a slow and painful death it feels like.

Here's what I think. Big revelation coming up right here. Get ready. Are you paying attention? Okay, then.

You find what works...for you... And you do it. Often.

I ran into this same concept with trying to stay in shape. As a young mom, I could not do everything, but I realized that was keeping me from doing anything. Yet, I realized that was a cop out...I COULD do something. I decided one day looking in the mirror (not so happy about what I saw) that every time during the day I thought about it, or it bothered me that I hadn't lost my pregnancy weight, I'd drop and do twenty situps right then and there. Or go somewhere and do it (okay, well not in public). There is usually somewhere closeby you can have one minute of privacy many times during the day. Say I had that thought 4 times during the day. That's a full set.

Was that a full workout... or all I needed? No, but it was inspiring, responsive to the need, and got me started again. It kept me from wasting time and emotional energy complaining and got rid of the feeling of being out of control. Making progress of any kind built a desire to add more --to cut things out of other areas until I had time to be healthy again as I progressed.

Perhaps we avoid our quiet times because of the same type mentality. I can't do it all. I don't have time for it all. I don't know what to do exactly. I'm not...

Think about Jesus. He wasn't out there with his hardback journal filled with inspiring quotes, studies, a Bible, and his prayer list. There are some differences comparing ourselves to him I suppose, but even still, I don't see him advising us to work down some list necessarily and calling that an ideal quiet time. Good things to consider to keep us well rounded. But, don't get stuck there.


I liked wondering what he may have done...rock wall climbing for all I know....he was always at "the mount". He had a big time, I think. He horsed around a little (obeying God, but not in a boring way), did the unexpected! Enjoyed being with God--doing something totally whimsical, powerful, odd, and not just for the sake of being different...to reveal who He was. I often don't calculate the unexpected things in my "quiet moments" enough. It didn't matter what he was doing, who he was praying about, what he was studying. God led, filled, empowered him for the next thing.

For us, yes, we need time in the word and worship and all the other well recommended disciplines. We need the pen and paper and record at times. BUT, that does not constitute the only kind of quiet time. The kind that takes us back to a precious place.


When we will do what it takes to fit it all in, just as we would cramming for a test in college? My! I'd get sick for some tests...but that didn't stop me from studying. I'd just sit on the toilet with my notebook and keep rehearsing the material. Do I still have that kind of passion and fortitude with something eternally more significant? To stay up late and get up early and shove it in anywhere and everywhere...to live it and breathe it? Quiet times can be times of angst, of joy, of study, of free thinking, of intercessory prayer. Can you do it all of that in one sitting?

I just can't...too much.


But, I blog with Him in mind.

I clean house to be more hospitable.


I see Him in the yard as I work.

I take care of my family and sense His joy in it.

We discussed Wednesday in our MasterLife group that one poll found that the average Christian gives God 2 minutes a day. I thought, you've got to be kidding me! We've got to stop thinking inside the box.

I was mentored by someone who said to me once, "I pray all day as I go."

I just now view my quiet time and my life a little differently than I used to. The 15 may be the assignment time...but the rest of the day is walking it out and talking it out with Him! All of it. The author said in our text that our goal was to be 15 minutes with Him a day.


I sure hope that's just the 15 minutes of assignment time. It's all with Him. "LORD." That means "Lord"...with him all the time. The quiet time is just to tune in--the beginning, nOt the end.

Perhaps it's the same difference in learning the joy of tithing 10% as opposed to realizing later that EVERYTHING works best when under His stewardship? I was thinking that I'd never ask my husband to give me 15 minutes a day. I we are talking about face to face conversation...yes, I can see that. But, my whole day is about family. So is his. We expect to be considered in each other's planning, work, and purchasing. It's a joy--we all work together. Family all the time. Our identity. Who we are.

Let's see: last week--what was my favorite quiet time? Well, I had several favorites last week (I'm getting out of the box.) But, one day in particular, I was down. I'm still not exactly sure why (probably hormones), but I decided to do something I love to do during my time with the Lord that day...scrapbooking. I got out my colored pens, some bright textured papers, ribbon. I began to write on the papers in different writing fonts any verse that came to mind, especially ones I needed to hear. When I was finished, I punched a whole in them, installed metal grommets, fed the ribbon through, and made a little booklet. That gave me joy...creating with scriptures in focus. That was the best quiet time I could have had that day. We had fun for a minute. I'll probably end up giving it to someone. I didn't care if the verses were 100% accurately quoted or not or if the scripture references were there. It was about lightening up and still focusing.


We don't teach beginners this: How to survive the days you are not "on" for the discipline.
last week I chose to cherishing his word and working with it with my hands when my heart wasn't quite ready, engaging however I could, whatever it took. Just a waste of time with crayons? No.

I love the way Beth Moore often talks about loving the sound of pages turning in her Bible. You know the sound...that tender, crisp, delicate sound of a Bible page turning. The feel of that binding in the palm of your hand. The weight of the eternal words of God resting on your lap. It becomes comforting...just the book itself, having been rescued by it so many times. Delight!

I suppose the discipline has to come first to find your way. But, oh! Look forward to the day when you just feel compelled to go meet Him. To go find your place. To see Him in a camera lense on an early morning in the sunrise, to find Him in your favorite blessings, pouring out his love on you. It's really okay to soak in it. Bask in it, for a moment. Take a moment to see Him in it...lay down the preconceived ideas of what godly time is with him. Embrace all the joys and pleasures and affections he lavishes.

I journal, not to discipline, but to take a peice of it that precious time with me--to preserve a bit of it...the favorite time of my life and day.

Someone told me yesterday they were getting tired of an assignment to read the same scripture over and over again. I do, too! Switch translations! Break the familiarity fog. Learn how to find the joy, to awake your brain, to create, to make it beautiful.

Tell me something new you tried if you want to. I hope to hear about it, or fun things you've done that are memorable. In discipline, just don't be afraid to add fun here and there! You'll be glad you did. Get creative! Just find Him.

~Me!


Friday: Morning Light

Pics from my quiet time this morning (camera in hand).
Click to enlarge.

Morning Window Posted by Picasa

Sunrise Posted by Picasa

Morning Light Posted by Picasa

Farm Glow Posted by Picasa

Quiet Time (Poemish Thing)
Don't you love real handwriting these days?

Rose "bubbled"
Digital Editing Fun

cake breakfast Posted by Picasa
left overs from party

Geranium Posted by Picasa
Fresh Bloom

Morning Walkway Posted by Picasa
Light Entering

Pray--First "Rita" Victims

-- AP: Dallas TV station WFAA reports 20 people killed when bus loaded with Hurricane Rita evacuees erupted in flames south of Dallas.

9/22/2005

A Good Time Had By All

We had called the guys to come close the pool today, but the weekend looks so hot, we cancelled. One more weekend of fun in the sun! I'll prep it again next week --hopefully not too many leaves will fall early! More every day now.

My husband suggested last night to his parents and brother that we skip eating out as planned and gather here to celebrate birthdays. I was a little worried about getting it all done. His Dad is allergic to anything with tomato sauce (3/4 of my menu items) and chococate (3/4...) and strawberries (...) and bananas (? what's left?) . But, he picked up Fried Chicken & slaw on the way home...I bought some huge baked potatoes, fixed baked beans, two favorite desserts, frozed country style bisquits, sweet pickles, and cherry tomatoes from the "garden". (Those came up volunteer from someone's previous planting year's ago, but I still call them my "garden"...just makes me feel good to have a "garden".)

His mom brought mac & cheese (the real kind out of Velveets...Mmmm)and fried apples (fresh from the orchard...delic.)

I always get nervous serving my in-laws, but it was a super meal and we had a great and relaxing time. Having the space now for extra people helps! Thank you merciful, Lord! Finally! I mean, in your perfect time, as always.

Well, I've commited to get to bed earlier. I've been running on ~fUmEs ~ this week. Tomorrow I will have something inspirational, instructional, moving, and challenging to set before the world. I feel it coming on... (after some sleep).

~Me!

Thursday STuffs

Wow. Today has been a change of pace. I got to watch baby Zoe...what a sweetie. Warm cuddles! Mmmmmm.

Three friends stopped by before lunch. Feast to famine!
Had a blast.

Good thing I hit Wal*Mart late last night for food. Fresh wheat bread, bologna, and turkey sandwiches with fresh lettuce, pickles, salad dressing, with BBQ chips and grapes. Fresh tea...all of us drink it completely unsweetened, which I thought was kind of weird.

In-laws will be here tonight to celebrate birthdays. Last night I stayed up to fix a favorite dessert. Today, the kids threw together the banana pudding also, and I say "threw" intentionally.

Scraping the Bowl Clean Posted by Picasa

Totally making my day, a friend called to bring by some scrapping stuff she had "on sale". What? A sale? My hobby stuff delivered right to my door?
I'm saving gas money here!
And shipping!
And who knows what else!
(Okay, so not the forests.)

It was fate! God to my aid! A destiny I could not deny. She was so funny coming to my front door like a true salesman (...person). I took a picture it seemed so funny.

Okay, so fessing up...I'm really just a lifelong paper and pen addict. (I'm not sure my husband is aware of this, even after 13 years of marriage. He knows I can be crafty in spells, that's about it.)

Shhhhh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will also be watching a friend's little one tomorrow afternoon, cooking Mexican for her when they get back. (Field trip season for older siblings). I can't wait. With this hospitality surge, I only have to clean the bathrooms once! That's efficiency. And I like efficient systems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, what happens when you tell your friends about your new "blog" habit/ entertainment/discipline/evangelical habit??? Whew. We all beam about it once we get started, right?

"Your what?" "It's a what? Where?" "Hmmmm."

Okay, so the culture in the SE may run a little behind the techno trends.

I think I'll have some new converts very soon! :-)

9/21/2005

Pic Blog

Sundry pics from this week. 9-20-05. (Must have lost the one of the rat in the pool filter...now that was a classic. Looked like a guiney pig all swollen up. Egads!)

Overwhelming

1.5 Million People Ordered to Evacuate Texas.
Category 5 Hurricane Rita.
Thankfully, most will have learned from Katrina to not wait it out.

Overwhelming.

My song of the week remains God of Wonders.

God is in control...beyond my comprehension.

God, bless those who are traveling, on the run. May they run to you.

Wednesday Stuff

Praise band practice went well this morning. We don't have a bass for Sunday avail. yet. We reviewed chord charts, who was leading what song, and order. We'll pin down intros and exits Sunday, practice, 7AM-ish.

Our new acoustic guy is really catching on quickly! He is able to listen to music and put in the little mannerisms that make it sound like the CD version. I'm trying to get him into the rhythm of songs and fade out.

I really want to start working more on memorizing my chord charts. Learned to play with sheet music early on, and find it to be more of a lazy mental habit now, allows me to sing and read the words while I play, though I know most of the words, really...just hard to think about both at the same time. Still, I'd benefit as a worshipper if I knew the chords by heart.

Today, MasterLife calls, and painting MORE fence. No kids here today, will have extras here the next few. Need to "make hay while the sun shines." I'm tired and my head is all swimmy. My husband kept getting weird calls from work in the middle of the night. He was upset with someone...woke me, and I just didn't get much good sleep.

Painting, MasterLife, or a refresher nap.

I think I better rest my head a minute first.

Nighty night.

New China Buffet & Grill

My Date...My Choice.
New China Grill, Clarksville, TN
This restaurant has an awesome Chinese Buffet with 5 hot food lines, crab legs, and all sorts of food I'd never tasted before. Above, right when you walk in, is the biggest, shiniest chandelier I have ever seen in my life.

Clarksville is about 35 miles North of Nashville. Take exit 11 (the main drag where the mall is is exit 4). Depending on which direction you are coming from, get to the Wal-Mart close to Madison Ave, and it's in that shopping plaza. If you can turn into that plaza anywhere other than the stoplights, you'll thank me later. View Map

I'm trying to think of that good taste of something I ate that I'd never had before. Can't remember! I think it was pork. Will have to quiz my husband and add it later. Eras muy delisioso!

My New Stool

Last night was a momentous occassion...my husband and I picked out a vanity stool with me for my bathroom sink.

I say momentous because this has always been a great desire of his, for me to have a place to sit down when I get ready, brushing my long tresses in my evening gown, him putting on my pearls.

After 13 years of marriage, I am now able to sit, should I so desire.

Generally, I prefer to stand and am in too big of a hurry throwing thrings together to enjoy the whole "getting ready" experience.

My children are in the room, banging on the door, or "morning whiney".

But, I do like the romance of the fantasy.

In actuality, I'm in overalls trying to correct near blindness as I put in my contacts. Actually, I'm just practicing for the big moment...trying to learn to sit to curl my hair and all.

It's like trying to sit to play keyboard...I'm just not sure I can get the hang of it.

But, for the goal, I will try.

It's a lovely stool. I might change the fabric to go with the bathroom more eventually, but it's cushy and has nice detail on wooden legs.

Traditional...I like it.

9/20/2005

Dumbo

Oooh, kids are farmed out...looks like an unexpected date night. Better get out of my embroidered Dumbo shirt my mother made me. (Well, she said I asked for it and said I wanted one. I think she has an alter ego made up for me or something. Kids at the pregnancy center loved it I'm sure, but I have never and never foresee myself asking for an embroidered Dumbo t-shirt. I knew my husband would have words for me wearing that for the first time...and I was right!)

~Me!

Roadkill

Played my guitar a while this morning, then went walking with Misty and the kiddos.

You know the thing I love about Misty? She laughs.

She just gets it...or at least pretends to enough that I enjoy talking.

You see, I was not born with a great sense of humor, probably have a rather satirical sense of humor (sometimes erring toward cynical, but not intentionally.)

A lot of people just don't get it. They sympathize, or try to read things into it, or psychologize the heck out of it.

I just like the funny stories about nothing! Just sharing and poking fun at life itself...I don't tell like haha jokes, but I think life is pretty funny.

So, today we talked about how weird our families made us. And we laughed our heads off!!! I love it. And mom, I'm really a having a hard time thinking of Santa's head as a toilet seat cover. I know you got if for me for my birthday, but I just don't know if I can do it to the saintly man. Now, frostly, I have no "sainthood" status for him...I think I can use him. Sit on him...see him as a snowball there on the toilet with no real psychological qualms. Old Saint Nick? He could probably put me on the naughty list for that! I just don't know. I'm thinking I could use that as a great "Dirty Santa" gift. And I do laught every time I think about it. Aren't the best gifts supposed to make you smile?

Misty understands! Misty loves, and I mean LOVES cats and wierd cartoons I see no meaning in...but they keep her sense of humor sharp.

Our first email exchange, she had to go back and explain the jokes to me. I just didn't get it. She's been patient, and I've been laughing ever since. She got me this calendar for the year with jokes on every week. I took it to the school last week not really thinking about it and my 8 yr old says, "Mom, I want to go show these jokes to my friends!" I was sitting at the teachers table of Christian teachers eating. I said, "Oh, no. Some of those are not appropriate!" Egads. I mean, they aren't BAD, bad. Just not something you want your kids soaking in. Let's see, next weeks shows a guy in an "AL's Plumbing shirt". He's watching the kids play football. He and his son both have on "plumber's pants" if you get my drift. Both shining their goods, Al is pointing to the player saying "That's my boy!" Okay.

Today, my son dropped his stuffed animal out of the stroller...his new one, just purchased for him yesterday: "Stripes". It growls a mechanical growl when you push his belly. To his unfortunate demise, it fell off the top of the stroller where he'd perched it, and Misty's stroller ran over it. "Grrrrrrrrrrrowl!"

I reached down to try to pick it up off the freshly rained on, muddy blacktop before Red saw it (no chance...it's a mop by now).

Misty says, "Oops! Sorry....Roadkill!".

That was pretty quick. I just lost it.

A few houses down, there was a lady getting groceries out of her car and she says, "Got a rambuncous crew today!"

I said, "Yeah, hellooo!"

We were both like, "Lady you ain't seen nothin'!"

So, onto killing computer viruses, finding school uniforms my children have hidden from me (they like to keep my life challenging), and overall housecleaning I've been avoiding for two weeks.

Or maybe I'll go find my guitar. Hmmmm. Well, a person has to get inspired to work well!

Oops. Shortage at the pregnancy crisis center for volunteers today? I'll have to do this stuff another time. Too bad. I was really looking forward to trying to get inspired. Oh, you workaholics, it's the creative side dominant in me this week. I'm not always like that. Probably hormonal.

Me.

9/19/2005

Katrina, now Rita...women!?#

New Orleans is being re-evacuated in light of Hurricane Rita. I know no one wants to be "down" again. But, our workers are down there...refugees just returned home with 5 kids. They don't think ulitities can handle the rain and such.

Pray!

Yeah, again!

Update: Our guys are safe working in Mississippi right now.

Monday Stuffs

My son came to me and said he had a surprise that was "better than nothin". I said, "What?" He said, "Well, at least it's better than nothin'...or at least I think it is!"

I now have Transformers.com wallpaper on my previously blank desktop. Hmmm. Better than nothin', huh? Not sure I concur. Not sure I like Transformers (the cartoon) at all, but he is a boy and all that.
Today has been a fun day:
  • A friend in labor with her fourth baby...better her than me!
  • Played CandyLand with my 4 yr. old--had a hoot.
  • Played checkers with Blondie...how dramatic.
  • And broke a string on my guitar. Not sure how that ties in...but, I'm working on a speedier change and did it fairly fast. I used to detest it when the guys left the strings uncut after a quick change...now I know the temptation. I think I'm going to have to switch to medium weight soon. Keep having breaks I beat and bang on it so much. Shoot...can't even force myself to cut my nails yet for this whole venture. (Well...I see some females get away with it on TV. I know I'm not on TV! Still.)

Was asked to lead worship Sunday night of the 9th. EEeeek. Always fun to think about and dream about, but actually doing it is, well, another test of the latest deoderant. Oh, come on, now. Like nobody else gets an adreline freak out. Get real!

I'm sure it will be "fun". I honestly think the hardest part is learning to relate-- how to connect with the group. In our case, it's more of a mixed group age-wize, familiarity is key, energy, cheerleading. (And here's Miss Reflective up to bat. Hopefully I have an alter ego somewhere stashed away!)

I'll enjoy the challenge of preparing and seeing what God does and undoubtedly realizing how much I still have to learn.

Blessings to you.
Me

I Am The Inspiration

Yes, it is true. You've heard it in the news. I will confirm.

I have inspired the start of two blogs in the blogospere unaware.

I'm just confirming this myself.

Someone should have told me I was so inspirational, really.

Tunz4Jesus from Kansas--welcome. Great to "sort of" meet you. Sounds like one diverse and talented lady.

Misty--I can't belive I heard it from a friend in Texas before I got it from the horse's mouth, really. You are so sly, and so hysterical. (I'm jealous!)

Okay, okay...so, enough of the heavy...hormone week is over. My goal for this week is to stay as light as possible this week.

"But, what about just being real?" You say.

Well, hang around...I'll have to figure something out!

me

Maybees, Pt. 2

Not sure that I have much clarity of thought today. I had a quiet time last night...learned from Hannah that God hears whiney prayers, hormonal prayers, "It's not fair" prayers, tearful prayers, and judged prayers.

Real good for a lady like me to know the last day or so.

Learned from my "prayer partner research" so far that others have felt friendships almost too bogged down by "weekly prayer partners" as well.
The weight of the depth of it...may have been what happened to me somewhat with one girlfriend last year? Maybe God is teaching me how to balance it better in the break.

Maybe a circle of friends is healthier. A give and take. A touch and go.

And maybe there are "friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime--embrace all equally" as my pastor once read and reminds us from time to time. I like that.

Still, the pain of losses added up at times, for whatever reasons. And I just can't move forward on my own. I think this is one of those times.

But, I sense God moving me out--outside my will. I mean, I'm willing, but not forcing it. Not because a class tells me to, because I'm lonely, or because it feels weird to not be walking closely with one particular person right now. In His time, He'll do it His way, and I trust that.

Looking back, a time with more space in a couple "close" friendships has made me more vulnerable, open, and available to new people--new interests, new ministries, new types of friendships. Maybe it was just time for me to round out a bit?

HOWEVER. I thought of a disclaimer to this arugment. Within that year of meeting with two people and sharing needs weekly, I saw more HUGE answers to prayer than I've seen in a long time.

So, perhaps at times when you are carrying something heavier than you can carry alone, you need that "one person" who knows you are struggling. God will find someone who you can also support somehow as well during that time. In that case, I recommend nothing other than a weekly prayer partner.

Now, those things being answered, perhaps I needed a space with the Lord alone to celebrate, to confess my lack of trust, to worship, and enter into trusting relationship with Him again. To soak in His love, healing, blessing, peace.

We could say: "there is a time and purpose for everything " (Ecclesiates). Which means that both states are okay AS LONG AS you are pursuing Christ and the goals of discipleship honestly and actively, not giving up.

One emailed me and said they go through times where the group prayers are more desireable for many of these reasons...you can be transparent to as great or little degree as you want without burdening a friendship.

Someone else said it was true that watching people's countenance's (which is really seeing them with the eyes of Christ, I think) helps us know when and how to pray for someone often without words, details, or explanations. She said she will often wake in the night to pray for someone. (Glad to know I was sometimes one of those someones! What a friend! Yes, I make my friends lose sleep!?#)

Male input was fairly lacking. I'm not sure why and won't speculate. I will say that the men I know who persue this most effectively do it as part of a discipleship, accountability group, exercise group, weekly lunches, or some other venue where it's not just sharing. It's surrounded by life or service as they make goals and hold one another to them, sometimes informally for the relationships in their life for growth and stick to them. They ask hard questions, say hard things, and encourage each other's socks off.

So, those are my deep thoughts on that. I wrote twice today and lost one, so I'm not real sure what I said or what I left out, but there's a start. If anybody wants to add or has thoughts, I'm still interested. I think it's nice to know how to best coach people struggling with the disciplines of discipleship.

Have a great day...and keep your eyes open for people God wants you to pour His life and love into. People who pour His life and love into you. They are there. Pray and you'll find them. I promise. Well, actually, He promises. It's in there, somewhere I'm sure. While you are waiting...he is there, friend of all friends.

(And thanks to a long time friend who just interuppted this with a check up call out of the blue!) Great to talk to you, Cindy.

God is good.

Me.

Crash

I wrote this morning...probably my most heartfelt blog to date, and my computer crashed at the end of a virus search. I don't really feel like rewriting all that, and God told me He was well pleased with the time searching it out anyway. So, we're moving on for now. Much to do today. Will try catching up again a bit later.

Blessings-
me

9/18/2005

Email Address Fixed

Thanks for the note that the email code was broken on the last post, Terrible Speller. Fixed now for those of you wanting to comment on the last posts on the best way to prayer partner (or not). Click Here to Email. or use commenting.

Today's been a moody day remembering old friendships. Perhaps due to this topic I guess. Maybe hormones. Anyway, don't really feel like writing tonight, didn't feel like worshipping or singing about heaven and don't feel particularly like a likeable person today. Not really asking for sympathy, just saying how we all feel at times I'm sure when we're tired and the days been long and memories are there. Maybe I'll catch up tomorrow.

Me.

Good Question

Today is Sunday. A day of celebration and somewhat of a return to "normalcy." Still sending volunteers for Katrina repairs from our body. Fourth relief crew with chainsaws and roofing going down this week.

Still helping my husband catch up with Fall chores before leaves fall. Pool cleaned and covered, gas logs installed.

Still mulling "prayer partners". Need male input. Appreciate any experiences (good and bad) or tips, no matter how long...talk as much or little as you want. I really want to know. Email me here or respond by comment.

God will bless it stirring good questions in you as well. Start thinking about it and watch what He does in your life. Nothing better than a good question.

Me!

9/17/2005

Quandary of Maybees--Short Version

Okay, so I'm determined to stop editing posts, so if you want the whole thought process, read below. But, here's the quick question at hand--really like feedback for this one.

What has been your experience with "formal weekly prayer partners" commonly advocated in discipleship courses/books?

Like, how long did those last for you? Why or why not? Did you do ever start, try, ask anyone, what happened? Would you do it again, and what would you change. Or any part of that.

Email me here or leave a comment. I'll let you know in general how responses go in future posts.

Quandry of Maybees Re: Formal Prayer Partners


So I have a quandry.

I probably know the answer, or an answer, but I'm not sure if it's right, or what I should do.

So, here's the scenario.

Last year, I had two regular prayer partners. One I got together with every week...we shared, talked about where God was guiding, what was going on with family, our churches, our places in ministry, and where God was pushing us--where we needed accountability.

Over time, I think part of it was me...I don't know, I wasn't able to focus in a particular area God was leading her and I wanted to be there, but didn't feel it was God's timing...so it was almost too much for me to hear her excited about it all the time. I just felt pulled. So, we needed space, and we've gone to lunch and talked on the phone since...but, it feels at an awkward growth phase or something. I'm not sure what will happen with it, or what the purpose of it is at this point. It seems now that there has been space, the interest has simmered down and it's fun again. But, now life pulls us apart.

The other was expecting and, of course, over a period of time, life happens, babies are born...etc. You get pulled apart. Seasons. That's okay. (Ran into her this week while she was out walking, pulled over the van, jumped out with 4 yr. old, and just walked a few miles together and talked. It was great to feel God putting us back together. We plan to walk a couple days next week...hopefully with stroller on hand! Carrying the 4 yr. old was a stretch, but still fun. We found dead critters and he saw his first apple tree. Fun.)

So, now I'm in this Master Life class. They want us to have a weekly prayer partner outside the class that we "pray with".

Here's my quandry, and I guess I'm just wondering if anybody else has been here--I do pursue those relationships, but they seem to fall with a lot of God's help and timing for me. It's not just "Hey, want to pray together every week for a year? " And my favorite are the ones where you don't even have to ask...the friendship is already strong and it's a part of it, but not a formal thing...just a part of the mix. So that if there is no prayer for a while, you are still sharing life, playing, going, doing, being.

I guess in my lag on this, I'm realizing that I'm slow to do that "prayer partner" thing.

It feels like that season right after you've been dating when you don't mind being around friends, but you just don't want the high level of transparency all the time yet necessarily. I guess there is a level of pain to work there at the end of a "season"...maybe that's all it is. I don't know if I need to let it be until my desire is higher for it again, or if it is God pushing me to get over it with this class. It's been since Spring I guess.

It's taken me two weeks to figure out why I don't want to do this part of the course. I advise "prayer partners", "accountability partners"...think it's necessary for growth.

I'm just wondering what to do with this phase of my own walk, esp. in conjunction with the class.

I realize I am nitpicking it--just trying to examine it and see where my heart really is on it I guess, not realizing it was there before. I mean, I'm not completely isolated...I have a dear friend who almost weekly asks me, "How can I pray for you?" And I do the same for her. And maybe that's enough...but, why won't I ask?

It's usually be email because we are both moms...about the only time we can think and share seriously uninterupted.

I do miss the face to face friends who can just read my countenance and know how to pray.

Maybe it doesn't need to be that formal. Maybe I just need to offer it with others and see if reciprocation occurs? Which, I know it will. Is it better to just do that so that nobody is disappointed or feels like you are missing the goal if you don't actually "pray" together?

For example, often I found that with my friends, our levels of sharing was so good and questions accountable, wisdom sharing...the conversation itself was prayerful, though there were no heads bowed, and we didn't start "Dear, Lord" or end with "Amen".

As Purpose Driven Life proposes...all of life can be worship and should be if our lives are iving Him pleasure. Then, doesn't it stand to reason that conversation can be "prayerful"as well? Yes, we prayed at times, but not all the time every week. If you asked me, He was made Lord in those conversations by the sharing, or repentance for inappropriate sharing later.

Yes, this very much feels like the stupidity that goes on mentally after a breakup. And it's not been to that extreme, but the losses are about that evident on your persona when you've walked that closely with someone each week and have to find your own two feet again.

Pray for me, and for the Lord to get me to the next step in this. Maybe I'm dragging my feet? Maybe it's normal? Maybe it's healthy? Maybe I've made Him my "friend" more again in this time? And maybe I need to re-enter... I don't know. Maybe He is moving me without my having to try to decide and figure it out. Probably so, He usually does. I can take credit for very little "discipleship" in my life.

So, anybody with any advice feel free. We'll all go in circles together!