Maybees, Pt. 2

Not sure that I have much clarity of thought today. I had a quiet time last night...learned from Hannah that God hears whiney prayers, hormonal prayers, "It's not fair" prayers, tearful prayers, and judged prayers.

Real good for a lady like me to know the last day or so.

Learned from my "prayer partner research" so far that others have felt friendships almost too bogged down by "weekly prayer partners" as well.
The weight of the depth of it...may have been what happened to me somewhat with one girlfriend last year? Maybe God is teaching me how to balance it better in the break.

Maybe a circle of friends is healthier. A give and take. A touch and go.

And maybe there are "friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime--embrace all equally" as my pastor once read and reminds us from time to time. I like that.

Still, the pain of losses added up at times, for whatever reasons. And I just can't move forward on my own. I think this is one of those times.

But, I sense God moving me out--outside my will. I mean, I'm willing, but not forcing it. Not because a class tells me to, because I'm lonely, or because it feels weird to not be walking closely with one particular person right now. In His time, He'll do it His way, and I trust that.

Looking back, a time with more space in a couple "close" friendships has made me more vulnerable, open, and available to new people--new interests, new ministries, new types of friendships. Maybe it was just time for me to round out a bit?

HOWEVER. I thought of a disclaimer to this arugment. Within that year of meeting with two people and sharing needs weekly, I saw more HUGE answers to prayer than I've seen in a long time.

So, perhaps at times when you are carrying something heavier than you can carry alone, you need that "one person" who knows you are struggling. God will find someone who you can also support somehow as well during that time. In that case, I recommend nothing other than a weekly prayer partner.

Now, those things being answered, perhaps I needed a space with the Lord alone to celebrate, to confess my lack of trust, to worship, and enter into trusting relationship with Him again. To soak in His love, healing, blessing, peace.

We could say: "there is a time and purpose for everything " (Ecclesiates). Which means that both states are okay AS LONG AS you are pursuing Christ and the goals of discipleship honestly and actively, not giving up.

One emailed me and said they go through times where the group prayers are more desireable for many of these reasons...you can be transparent to as great or little degree as you want without burdening a friendship.

Someone else said it was true that watching people's countenance's (which is really seeing them with the eyes of Christ, I think) helps us know when and how to pray for someone often without words, details, or explanations. She said she will often wake in the night to pray for someone. (Glad to know I was sometimes one of those someones! What a friend! Yes, I make my friends lose sleep!?#)

Male input was fairly lacking. I'm not sure why and won't speculate. I will say that the men I know who persue this most effectively do it as part of a discipleship, accountability group, exercise group, weekly lunches, or some other venue where it's not just sharing. It's surrounded by life or service as they make goals and hold one another to them, sometimes informally for the relationships in their life for growth and stick to them. They ask hard questions, say hard things, and encourage each other's socks off.

So, those are my deep thoughts on that. I wrote twice today and lost one, so I'm not real sure what I said or what I left out, but there's a start. If anybody wants to add or has thoughts, I'm still interested. I think it's nice to know how to best coach people struggling with the disciplines of discipleship.

Have a great day...and keep your eyes open for people God wants you to pour His life and love into. People who pour His life and love into you. They are there. Pray and you'll find them. I promise. Well, actually, He promises. It's in there, somewhere I'm sure. While you are waiting...he is there, friend of all friends.

(And thanks to a long time friend who just interuppted this with a check up call out of the blue!) Great to talk to you, Cindy.

God is good.

Me.