Whack the Mole

We went to our church's annual "Treats 'N More" festivities instead of Trick or Treating this year.

Inflatable slides, bouncy houses, and obstacle courses. No telling how many kids came. I'd guess 7-800.

Most fun? Watching the babies in the baby bouncy house, riding each other, mauling each other...laughing!

Okay...even more fun: after the kids leave, the adults get to play! We race and act stupid for a while.

Last year, I held the title of fastest through the obstacle course. Only barely. Mr. Wonderful grabbed my foot on the climb (being notably behind me) and nearly cost me my title. Gets dirty.

Turns out our church secretary is out for blood. Whew. She nearly got me too. But, not quite.

So, this year, they add inflatable jousting! Whoa. Looked scarey. You stand on these huge inflated pedestals with a mask over your head and ears. Then, they hand you heavy sticks, tell you to "GO!" and you try to knock your opponent off their stand.

The crowd is screaming your name, hollering instructions...just like a boxing ring or something. A whole new experience for me. I just didn't want to hurt anybody or get whacked too hard! Our first round was sort of slow. I just kept blocking her shots. She could hit pretty hard and I didn't want it hitting me! Finally, someone who seemed to have some authority on the matter starts yelling over and over, "Go for her head! Hit her in the head! Get her in the middle! Hit her, hit her, hit her!"

I'm thinking, "Whoa, DUDE! I don't know which one of us you are yelling at, and since I cannot clarify with this monstrosity of a padded helmet on my head, I'm thinking I better be the hitt--ER rather than the hitt-ee. She ain't hittin' this head of mine with that big 'ole thang. I started to get into it then.

So, I decided while blocking her quadruple power hit attack, it was my time to go for the head-- while she was tired.

She was taller than me, so it took a few times to connet. But, I did...I whacked her right in the head!

Sort of gentle like. I didn't want to kill her. Just wanted to startle her and knock her off balance...but it didn't work! She seemed a little stunned that I really did it, but she didn't fall off! So, I try to poke her in the midsection to politely knock her off balance while she was in shock. Again, not wanting to kill her impolitely. (I'd just found out her name five minutes before!).

She still stayed up! So, it was getting old. I decided to go for the same combo, harder and faster.
Off she went. The crowd screamed, chanting my name! Warrior Girl! Warrior Girl! Okay, so not really, but they did roar! It was fun.

So, round two of three. Sooner this time, my crowd coach started yelling. I'm thinking, "Don't make me hit the girl in the head again!" But she was taller than I was and was going to kill me if I didn't do something to get her off balance. Defense would only last so long. I was a little more brave second round, not wanting to get tired...whacked her in the head earlier.

Worked again! So, thanks to the guerilla in the crowd.

Round three...I think I have it down...gotta go for the score. Get her head. No messing around. She's surviving. Go with what works.

I have to say, it felt good.

Well, not necessarily the whacking her in the head, per se! Maybe...but only for the goal. Just the whole whacking thing. I have never understood wrestling or the whole boxing thing.
But, for those who would like to whack someone, haing a willing stand-in just for the occasion was nice. I about took a guy out earlier anyway, so it was a good release. I'll get to that story later. Whew...I was mad. Maybe more mad than I should have been.

Boxing? Ah. I don't know. They need more padding. Head padding.

My husband was so proud of his little 5'3" warrior. All hugging me and telling me how awesome I was. Oh, I know. I just can't help it. Shoot...I was proud! I was shaking in my boots for a good 15 minutes afterwards! Thinking, man I am NUTS! But, that's a good feeling now and then...when you have padding on.

Actually, I still can't get to sleep. It's 1AM. But...I feel good. I won! Hopefully I'll sleep real sound when the adrenaline wears off. I hope she's okay.



the good, the bad & the ugly said...

Thanks so much for the laugh!! I have never done "inflatable jousting", but I can envision the whole night! I have a secret, competitive side that shows up from time to time, too. Hillarious! God get 'em "Warrior Girl"!

the good, the bad & the ugly said...

That should have been "Go get 'em" not "God get 'em"! I'm not that competitive!