11/10/2005

sEveN

sEveN...and written, so far, just like that. Up one minute, down the next. Much like me! I must be a seven year old at heart.

I went in to wake my daughter from blissful slumber, all knotted in with Red on the top bunk like they ruled the world (and they often do). I said, "Darlin', good mornin! Time to get up. Did you know something? Today is the last day I will every have a six year old little girl?"

She flopped over, more quickly than usual, opened her eyes and looked me square in the face as she flopped her long arm over and konked me in the head, saying, "Mom, good luck."

And closed her eyes.

Not sure what she meant by that. Not really wanting to know. But, it stuck. Wishing me luck on the whole process...the whole thing...the path, the journey. "Good luck, Mom."

I liked it. Made my day. She substantiated my day.

Then, she woke again with a start, like she never had truly woken before and said excitedly, "Is today my birthday?"

Okay, so it still IS all about her. We all knew that. But it was a good groggy moment, and it counts!

Red and I went to the school to eat pizza day with her. I'm still on a scrapbooking obsession up all hours of the night trying to catch her book up some this year for her party...the only way I'd ever catch up I'd say. Knowing grandparents just LOVE it at the party. I'm trying to do something new...and I had an epiphany with this last night.

I've been doing the same things, the same ways for about the two years I've been doing this thing...miss efficient, sticking as many photos on the page as I can, trying to fit in some sense of order, embellishment later, maybe. A title...if it really had to have one. But, when I look at other people's books and magazines, that's not the layouts I like. So, why was I doing that. 1. to save money. 2. to use all those 4X6s I was getting developed...faithful to use them ALL.

But, after I went digital, I still did that for a year, developing everything. Man, you talk about money! Whew. I started asking myself, "Why am I doing this? It's not even what I want, or what I like? I'm in such a rut."

So, I developed no new pics until I got all the others used, and in the meantime...I BEGAN TO DREAM. What might life be like if I did thing TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I have so enjoyed looking at the magazines to dream...still...I noticed my layouts were looking the same, even when they didn't have to!

Well, epiphany...keep doing the same things you've always done (even dreaming, even reading, even WANTING to do things differently)...and you'll get the same results you always got.

This time, I got out the book, labeled the book, ordered my thoughts about what I liked and why and when I could use it, and made a commitment to not start a page until I referenced the book.

I look at my Christian journey, seeing the same problem...too much reading, wanting, dreaming, wishing...not enough change. Well, I hear the kids home. Gotta run!

~Me!

1 comment:

Mysti said...

One of my favorite quotes from my Weight Watchers meetings before I became a drop-out was, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." Makes a lot of sense in a lot of aspects in life.

One of my other favorite quotes: "Nothing looks as good as being thin feels." Obviously the person who said that has never eaten a piece of New York style cheesecake. :)