1/04/2006

Boy Wonder's Home

Well, we decided to ask Boy Wonder to "walk the aisle"...not really for traditional or legalism...I weighed my heart heavily on this. More to present himself to the body and experience their love and support. To create as many "memorable" moments as possible where people heard him profess his faith. To teach him about the role of being a member of a local body of believers as well as professing his faith...how they can support him and they him. He wasn't so crazy about it. But, I cried. It was good for me to "see that moment". Him walking the road...his steps. Alone. Reaffirming and announcing his decision.

I didn't want him to confuse it with his salvation experience...already a done deal. And the minister was so awesome counseling him...tying up some loose ends we still needed to hit.

God, still so obviously aiding the building of a firm foundation for him...I am so happy.

So ironic. They usually do not give an "invitation" during Wednesday night Bible Study, but they did tonight, anticipating him. I wondered what hymn they would choose...my Mom wrote the one down in the front of my little blue Bible the day I was saved, "Wherever He Leads I'll Go"...that song significant in my conviction...significant as I've walked my life. I thought, if they pick a drone hymn, I'll be disappointed...but, his experience is not mine...he'll have his own memories and significant things I'm sure. (Repeat to self as needed).

They began to sing, "Jesus Loves Me".

Wow.

Not just a precious hymn and song, but one I sang to him the first time I ever held him alone, in a dark nursery, by himself. I'd requested that they allow him to sleep in a dark, isolated, quiet nursery rather than in the buzz of the well lit post delivery center where all the newborn babies were cared for. I could not take him out of the nursery for a whole week after the NICU. But, I got to hold him and rock him to sleep...finally. Pure and utter delight. My firstborn. Something I did not know I'd ever get to do before he died. Oh, how I longed to nurse him...call him my own, for keeps. Now, finally.

He was, as I've said before, very, very ill at birth, not breathing.

He was recessitated several times his first day...ventilated by hand as the machines were not sustatining his life. He was on blood pressors and thinners and antibiotics and who knows what all...there was no life support left that he did not have. And they said, "It usually gets worse before it gets better in these cases."

Later, they guessed that at some point in delivery, the cord was entangled around his neck. I suspect the night before they induced me, prior to my due date (unheard of) due to suspected large size...no one knows why he was so large. I was on bedrest for two months to try to hold him in the oven long enough.

Anyway...the night after we got him settled in the NICU and heard all this not so promising news, my husband opened his Bible randomly to Psalms. He said, "I'll have to read this to you later when we get a minute alone."

It was Psalm 18:

3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.

4 The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

5 The cords of the grave [b] coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.

7 The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.

8 Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.

9 He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.

10 He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.

11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.

12 Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

13 The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded. [c]

14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.

15 The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.

17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.

18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.

19 He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me...

49 Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name.

50 He gives his king great victories;
he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed,
to David and his descendants forever.
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To those who know more details, this was even more particularly profound to me. I wept and wept...knowing that God very much did swoop down and be sure someone saw him growing ill...someone not particulalry authorized to make the calls or be responsible for his life in particular...but, who remember their ultimate doctoral oath and responsiblity and took the time while everyone else ate leisurely bacon, eggs and ham. He cared. He saw. He ordered immediate extra lines and support to be near...and it was needed, within the hour. He crashed before Daddy could drink his morning OJ and be back. On return, they would not even let him in the door it was so bad to see.

So, I sat in the nursery, remembering a new verse to the song I had not sang or remembered since I was a child...we only sang verses 1 and 4 nowadays with hymns, but as I remembered it, it fit, and I knew it must be sung by me to him there in the dark. I always thought of old people when I heard it before that point, not babies.

Jesus loves me, loves me still, though I'm very weak and ill
He will love me 'til I die
Take me to His home on high

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

In singing that through choked tears every time...by faith, I affirmed over and over all week, though it was a very hard road...God loved that boy more than I did, or ever could, and if it came to it, He had a home for him...waiting. He had been rescued. And I knew it.

And now...I know that Wonder Boy has claimed that home for good! It cannot be taken from him. What pure joy! He has always been friends with God, always praying since he could utter a word. And now, his is forgiven, free, and saved. He is truly God's...lifelong...rain or shine. Healthy! Robust! Weighing more than I do, nearly looking me square in the eyes.

"Because the Lord delighted in him".

Just as I knew his wiggles and hiccups long before he was ever born into the world and I delighted in him.

4 comments:

esm said...

What a story! I knew some of it, but do not recall you mentioning the Scripture (Ps 18) before. Amazing how it all ties together. Have you ever considered writing a devotional article, say for Home Life?

Misty said...

Very compelling story. I agree with esm. An article about that would make a great devotional.

Sarah said...

Okay, I didn't know most of that and I am sitting her teary eyed! I can only imagine how you felt in that dark nursery singing to him. Keep up the great blogging. You have such a way with words.

tunz4jesus said...

Wow, glad I went back to catch up on your blog, powerful. Jesus loves me. That's the most simple truth that people need to hear, so pleased God sustained boy wonder, can't wait to see who he tells that Jesus loves them...