Great New Blog

Today I took a break from blogging and read some links others have found of blogs they value. I ran across one from a lady named Anne at http://www.flowerdust.net/ . Not many blogs WOW me, but hers did...her honesty, her candor, her willingness to risk all to save some. As I told her...she makes me want to start over blogging.

I spoke to her by email today. She just finished an article for Relevant magazine. Wow. I discovered a rising star! I'm good. It will be based on her very "real" blog on the effects of porn on women. On HER.

I'm so proud of her efforts. The article will be based on her Part II article you'll find in her "sex" category on her blog. What she writes is right on target for where things are for women as well as men in terms of effect of and the draw to pornography.

She is honest, real, and thought provoking. I won't share all that she did, but consider carefully the thoughts and questions that took her to addiction. Yes, I said, "addiction". And, no, she's not gay. Questions like:

"What's it all about?" "Why's it so intriguing?" "Does my man desire more from me?" "What's he see in that? Am I missing something? I guess I need to know what he really wants. What can I do better? Is this his dream?" OR "I can't believe this is out there. Right here! Can you BELIEVE this?" OR "Gee, you know, just looking at this, I FEEL SEXY LIKE HER, desirable, without doing anything wrong myself. Looking at this...I feel the power of attraction! I am woman. Like her." And Anne was addicted. The sharing of her story amazed me.

She became trapped by the intimacy, forbiddeness, and "research" of it (just they way many church staff members do, exusing it in that way until they realize...it's researching them.) They begin to feel human again...something staff members, and a too busy generation forget to take time to do with their spouses--be human.

It's very easy for most marriages to go through strained seasons while growing families. I've had to take the classes for my degree programs. While I'm here, let me tell you something, especially you young moms and dads...statistics may tell you what "norms" and "averages" are for a normal and healthy sex life, but if you have kids and a schedule, be careful. Marriage and family life has heavy time demands and responsibilities...ones we have to submit to...and ones we have to try to tame. But, don't let any book or statistic make you feel inadequate. Get real help if you need it, there are great Christian books out there to inspire you to be your best. But you are likely more normal than you think with the schedule. Life is crazy. Just live it out together and make the choices to stay "one".

Thanks Anne, for correcting a mal-assumption that it is only a draw for men. Women are just as drawn by beauty, jealousy, seeming power, and seeming intimacy. Women are meant to be beautiful. To serve. Refresh. Be a helpmate--to one man. Our culture is so bent on the woman who is "hot" and "has it all going on" that we no longer value or uphold the prudent, then wonder why our young girls dress as they do, seeming to use no good judgment. Hello!?

I'm interested in your response or questions if you have them. If you aren't comfortable commenting, email me.

I have a follow up post to this, but I think I'll save it. I want you to read her post, especially the ladies. She has a great blog as a whole. Absolutely terrific.

Me