Day 4--Clear Air (Missing You)

Today feels good. I am actually starting to miss people. A good thing.

Last week, my waking thought and my living thought was, "I'm tired."

I don't know that it had to do with physical fatigue as much as just the level of output was more than I'm used to. I see people learn to live with greater and greater levels of productivity without tiring as easily as they used to...without getting rattled. I think that is what the OT scripture means when it talks about God "enlarging us".

Last week in my climb time, the only things I knew for sure was that I was supposed to simplify as much as possible and I was to rest. And I was to stay very basic...the utmost, until I was rested. Cut everything possible to make sure I had some quality time with the Lord.

After you've learned to live a life of servanthood...it's almost impossible to make yourself let go and stop serving for a few days. Every priority relates around your identity as a servant. For the Master to say, "stop serving" leaves you aimless. Lost. Needing...something.

I needed to be served. I needed to hear truth. To shut down. Shut out distraction. Read. Forgive. Be strengthened. Heal. My friend called it an Elijah moment. Maybe so. I don't like to think of myself that weak, but I likely was.

After I got that time with the Lord yesterday, I was so blessed that my husband brought a lot of dinner home I'd planned to bless him with...just a fluke, but God knew my heart. And, without my asking or suggesting...my daughter set the table special. I even told her to just leave the plates on the bar...we'd have to microwave anyway.

No...that would not do! She wanted to serve and bless us. I was served...by my six year old daughter. My family cleared the table.

The mundane is not a big deal...until you've overserved. And it's still not a big deal, until someone does it for you for a change. They do YOUR work. Your job. For you.

I don't know what that blesses so much, just for another to relieve one of your normal chores for a day, but it does. For someone to notice and be willing to serve. Not to say they are doing it better or are tired waiting on you...they just want to try to bless you.

Angels.

Today, I scrapbooked one layout for Easter for my daughter's scrapbook early this morning. I've not done one in forever...it felt good to celebrate and concentrate on the intricate details of that wonderful day. To remember the highlights... and celebrate those!

Now...I feel lonely. I miss my dear friend who is hurting, too far away. I miss close friends who have their own mountain time they need, and I pray for them. I miss my husband at work who I just called over a death announcement I needed to share. I miss my kids who got ready for school in a more civil manner than usual this morning. I miss my mom who had a car wreck yesterday. I miss my cousin who died a few years ago...her baby daughter will be five next week. I miss close friends I don't get to talk to enough.

After being burned out...missing people just feels good.

~Me