12/23/2005

Wonder Why Wife Is So Stressed?

This is an informative blog for husbands in the world who might wonder why their wives get...edgy at times...the closer the holiday approaches. Here's some insight.

The older I get, the more I realize this phenomenon is part of the holiday experience for most of the women I know. If you are the exception, perhaps you can enlighten me as to your secret. Until then...

1. The vast number of items to be wrapped. My husband comes in Christmas Eve and asks me where all the nice bows are so he can wrap mine. Why didn't I save him some easy bows? He doesn't know what to do with the wired ribbon stuff. And why can't I save him some pretty labels. These need to be gold or silver. Why does this bother me a trite bit? Mainly, because he's in a rush on Christmas Eve when I've been in a rush doing the same thing for live two weeks straight to get it all done. He's a great guy, but last minute is his middle name. He wouldn't admit to this, denies it, but it's true all the same. Dating, I'd wait two hours for him to show up. Story of my life. I've gotten use to it.

2. Things to be cooked. It's taken me, what 13 yrs. of marriage to understand that it is my December job to always keep on hand something to take to a party, gathering, or impromtpu visit. Until you realize this little rule, you are constantly trying to figure out how to "whip something up" with no warning. This is stressful. After you figure it out, you are constnatly cooking in all the time you had to, say, go to the bathroom, before. I've not had a decent quiet time in a month I know. That's okay, I'm giving myself the month off, praying a lot "in the Spirit" as I go, and the singing through my day...until I smell something burning. But, as a whole, this lack of... balance... begins to wear on a person.

3. Holiday clothing. I like to celebrate as much as the rest of them, but somethingi about the limitation of color choices and the need to constantly wear black pants...it just begins to wear on my creative personhood about this time every year. You can wear a holiday sweater with jeans, but, then, there is still the holiday sweater. I'm not sure what else to say here except, accummulate many choices over the years so you don't have to wear the same sweater all holiday. It helps.

4. Christmas Cards...missing addresses, people who move (don't do that!), and cards you need to return. Always a "to do" stack in the mail file which is not getting done making a lady feel very rude and behind. But, relax, there will always be the week after Christmas. :(

5. In the midst of this, there is the gift equality issue. How many gifts did each child get, of what monetary amount, approximate time of interest each will hold, something for mind, hands, body, spirit? Did I get enough, too much? Did I get anything for my husband? What does he need? This is hard.

6. A gift for family members...neices, nephews, aunts, uncles, mother, father, step mother, step father, step sister...
Fun, but exausting.


7. Laundry...now, with all this going on, we have to keep the children and husband clothed for all these events. So, at 2AM, we are suddenly doing laundry, and you are wondering what we are doing all do to suddenly require this. We are just laying around the house all holiday break while you are gone, right? HA!

8. Dishes. Okay. There are restless people around, eating constantly, we're baking constantly, meals are more "special". Dishes. Dishes. Dishes.

Whew.

I recommend lighting a candle near the sink...it's the only place you'll be able to enjoy it. I have a little tea candle there.

9. In your haste, and millions of trips to the grocery for all these baking items...you pick up the wrong one, forget the eggs, etc. STRESS

10. The closer you get to Christmas, the more LOONEY kids get, the more they PICK on each other, YELL in their adrenaline, and, in general, drive you nuts with questions like, "What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?" (I decided on Christmas Eve, The Prequil). Daughter is now confusing that with Christmas Eve driving brother nuts, he yells at her, she gets mad, stomps around, screams. Okay, so ALL THESE PRESENTS CAN GO RIGHT BACK YOU KNOW! Silence.

Times 50.

11. Other things. Mother in Law in hospital. Husband home from work at 8:30 every night for a week with increased work load. Meetings. Business. Stress making hormones go nuts.

12. I am responsible for the family devotion this year. I need to look for a great story. I'll get right on that...when a have a spare minute.

To close, despite all the grumpiness, complaining, high stress, and irritability, it is the mother's production of the year. I am learning to love it...in my own ways, keeping it creative and fun for me as I go, but not getting near the things done I wanted to do with my kids! Still, it is stressful, and very busy--for all you who may wonder....that's why. Wash dishes for your wife the night she falls asleep on the couch looking zombie-like. Tokens in your love bank.

On to a few more days...and my, the kids have grown since last year, and they will never be this little again! And more hormones descend! I need to charge the camcorder batteries this year. (More lists).

Me

PS: And then there are people dropping by, and I'm still in my PJs, and the house hasn't been straightened yet this morning. Add that to my list!

2 comments:

Misty said...

Sorry about the dropping by--at least I brought chocolate :) I was lucky to get hubby and oldest daughter out of the house for the day shopping while I finished up stuff here. Almost done wrapping. Gotta dip peanut butter balls, thaw and prep a duck, hang up the Christmas cards I've been meaning to for a week, and pack suitcases for traveling out of town. And I have a cold and can't breathe through my nose :) EEEEK! So, I can relate to you, except for the gift equality thing--the baby's too young to care yet--thank the good Lord! Oh, and number 2 on your list--see my post about the "Emergency Pie"--it's a lifesaver :), unless your hubby signed up to bring baked beans and then you're up at 11:30 PM baking them because you forgot...I digress, sorry. Hope you all have a Merry CHRISTmas anyway and stay in your pj's as long as you want!

Magnanimity said...

Sweet friend, you've seen me in my PJs before, you'll see it again!

Lady friends...welcome! Now, older people, people my husband knows...they just need to call!!!! Dang it!

I obviously get over it or I would have changed something in my daily schedule!

(Benefit to staying home, and I'm NOT letting GO of it! Lord willing!)

I wrote that before you came. Loved your visit. Glad you are comfortable doing just stopping by!

Me