Grandma made it through her surgery well and is still recovering today. Praise God! Thanks for your prayers. We are still traveling several times a day back and forth to the hospital and sitting and waiting and caring for her. The children are concerned.
For us, for now, the holidays have stopped. It doesn't matter. The gifts and lists and "important things". Keeping in touch and having just the right thing. That panic will hit me next week, no doubt. I still have virtually nothing under the tree for my boys. But, a toy store run doesn't take too long.
My friends, I love you. And that's all that matters. You are valuable to me. I treasure you and pray for you and long for God's blessings and lessons and purposes to flood your life. I long for Him to be real to you...as real as your next breath. I long for you to worship Him, to lift Him high in all you do and say and purpose. Be His.
I receive rest. Pause. Focus. Breath.
It feels good.
Me
12/17/2005
12/14/2005
Trauma
Got my sink cleaned, laundry rescued, floor swept, computer fixed, son's report in order, daughter back on track.
2:00 my 75 year old mother in law fell, busted wide open her lip in a most horrendous fashion, broke her shoulder socket, laid on the floor half an hour bleeding, then took an ambulance ride to the ER. Later, a transfer to another hospital.
It is 11:30PM. We just got home. She'll have surgery, but not until Friday morning--they are ordering a prosthetic socket in case hers doesn't want to go back together...at her age, it isn't likely.
The same ortho doc who set my son's leg in the Spring, my husband's arm in the Fall is now setting my mother-in-law's arm. He tells me we have to stop meeting like this. I tend to agree. She has bad knees and isn't in as good a shape as she used to be. I worry about the long surgery this time.
For tonight, her blood sugar keeps going up due to trauma. Pray it will go down and she will heal and mend. She is the angel of our family. The sunshine. A heart rending day for us all. She tripped over one of my kids old baby toys left in a pile on the sunporch. She's only said it once, but, oh! it breaks my heart. I will go get rid of all those old toys I've wanted to throw away so many times. Bless her heart.
~Me
2:00 my 75 year old mother in law fell, busted wide open her lip in a most horrendous fashion, broke her shoulder socket, laid on the floor half an hour bleeding, then took an ambulance ride to the ER. Later, a transfer to another hospital.
It is 11:30PM. We just got home. She'll have surgery, but not until Friday morning--they are ordering a prosthetic socket in case hers doesn't want to go back together...at her age, it isn't likely.
The same ortho doc who set my son's leg in the Spring, my husband's arm in the Fall is now setting my mother-in-law's arm. He tells me we have to stop meeting like this. I tend to agree. She has bad knees and isn't in as good a shape as she used to be. I worry about the long surgery this time.
For tonight, her blood sugar keeps going up due to trauma. Pray it will go down and she will heal and mend. She is the angel of our family. The sunshine. A heart rending day for us all. She tripped over one of my kids old baby toys left in a pile on the sunporch. She's only said it once, but, oh! it breaks my heart. I will go get rid of all those old toys I've wanted to throw away so many times. Bless her heart.
~Me
12/13/2005
Tuesday
Three more theatre production shows down. One more tonight. Angel is sleeping. Just spent an hour on the phone with my internet service provider to restore my internet service after an already long day. My computer is dying a slow and painful death. Regretting the decision to wait on the new one until Christmas. Second complete crashes in two weeks...so tired of fixing it.
I need a nap. Goodnight.
me
I need a nap. Goodnight.
me
12/11/2005
Melted
melted...
I'd go find a good graphic to make it funny, but I'm just not in the mood for humor.
105 Christmas cards done...about that many to go. Man, I have a big family.
I know you can opt out of this tradition, but my kids are at good ages for pics, so for 33 cents a peice at Wal*Mart and a 40 cent stamp...I can attempt to stay in touch with people I never see except for funerals. Maybe it will open a door somewhere. Show I care. Now, friends, those are fun.
I thought if I got ahead of the holiday some, I could really just settle down and enjoy it. Tonight, I'm like...you mean we're STILL doing Christmas?
I love all the twinkle and glow...I'll miss it when it's gone. But, never having a moments rest of not having critical things done? That part is no fun.
I thought about titling this "my womanhood is tired", but that sounds rather funny to those who might not understand my mindset.
I don't know...some nights, when I'm especially tired, and hormones are wacky, I think of my mother...how I look at what she did for us now, and I try to do it, and I don't see how in the world she pulled it all off, and I think...how could they ever have given all that up? My parents divorced about eight years ago. I came from a Christian family. My Dad was a deacon. We were in church every time the doors were open. I had a great gift. But, I pour all this into something that feels like building tradition that will last. It feels like I'm investing eternally. It feels good. But, I get attacked wondering if it's really all that valued by anybody but me after all.
I suppose there is a balance to what we do for the holidays.
Well, I'm really in a venting mood tonight. Reflective. Contemplative. Not so cheerful. I ask God now and then why He gives women moods like this...women like me anyway. Moods where I wonder if I'm enough. When I wonder if I trust Him...or even try.
And old comfort praise songs hit the wide screen of of my mind: "You're all I want. You're all I ever needed. You're all I want. Help me know you are here. Help me know you are near."(maranatha)
and
"Take me away. Take me away, so I can be with you." (vineyard)
recently
"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this by myself. I can't do this. I can't do this. Oh, God I need your help". Bethany Dillon (I think)
All there is to do on a night like this is to try to rest and stop thinking and know that "tomorrow is another day".
Oh, and, yes, I had a good time at my husband's party, if I want to answer optimistically. I can have a good time anywhere, and I try. But, I had to try real hard. And I really don't like to try so hard when I have to use childcare. But, we did leave early to go see "Chronicles of Narnia" at the 9:30 show afterwards. (Thank you, God! Blessed relief!) It broke my heart in contrast. In general, it left me with a haunting feeling. One I can't shake. A good one. One that says..."Focus. Prepare again for battle. Sharpen your tools. A war is at hand. Be ready. Do no get distracted by promises of 'treats' and things of this world. Defend your territory." Deep stuff. God spoke to me clearly throughout the whole movie. I could hear Him challenging me, encouraging me, preparing me for change in my walk...moving me back toward discipline soon that I've had to neglect to do holiday.
It's really a phenomenal movie. Intense for young kids though, I'd say. We'll wait for ours, and my oldest is 9. But, they've not been exposed to a lot. My friend said when she saw it, nobody wanted to leave the theatre...they gave a standing ovation at the end. It was worthy of it in my opinion. Can't wait for the sequels (I'm hoping!).
until later,
me
I'd go find a good graphic to make it funny, but I'm just not in the mood for humor.
105 Christmas cards done...about that many to go. Man, I have a big family.
I know you can opt out of this tradition, but my kids are at good ages for pics, so for 33 cents a peice at Wal*Mart and a 40 cent stamp...I can attempt to stay in touch with people I never see except for funerals. Maybe it will open a door somewhere. Show I care. Now, friends, those are fun.
I thought if I got ahead of the holiday some, I could really just settle down and enjoy it. Tonight, I'm like...you mean we're STILL doing Christmas?
I love all the twinkle and glow...I'll miss it when it's gone. But, never having a moments rest of not having critical things done? That part is no fun.
I thought about titling this "my womanhood is tired", but that sounds rather funny to those who might not understand my mindset.
I don't know...some nights, when I'm especially tired, and hormones are wacky, I think of my mother...how I look at what she did for us now, and I try to do it, and I don't see how in the world she pulled it all off, and I think...how could they ever have given all that up? My parents divorced about eight years ago. I came from a Christian family. My Dad was a deacon. We were in church every time the doors were open. I had a great gift. But, I pour all this into something that feels like building tradition that will last. It feels like I'm investing eternally. It feels good. But, I get attacked wondering if it's really all that valued by anybody but me after all.
I suppose there is a balance to what we do for the holidays.
Well, I'm really in a venting mood tonight. Reflective. Contemplative. Not so cheerful. I ask God now and then why He gives women moods like this...women like me anyway. Moods where I wonder if I'm enough. When I wonder if I trust Him...or even try.
And old comfort praise songs hit the wide screen of of my mind: "You're all I want. You're all I ever needed. You're all I want. Help me know you are here. Help me know you are near."(maranatha)
and
"Take me away. Take me away, so I can be with you." (vineyard)
recently
"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this by myself. I can't do this. I can't do this. Oh, God I need your help". Bethany Dillon (I think)
All there is to do on a night like this is to try to rest and stop thinking and know that "tomorrow is another day".
Oh, and, yes, I had a good time at my husband's party, if I want to answer optimistically. I can have a good time anywhere, and I try. But, I had to try real hard. And I really don't like to try so hard when I have to use childcare. But, we did leave early to go see "Chronicles of Narnia" at the 9:30 show afterwards. (Thank you, God! Blessed relief!) It broke my heart in contrast. In general, it left me with a haunting feeling. One I can't shake. A good one. One that says..."Focus. Prepare again for battle. Sharpen your tools. A war is at hand. Be ready. Do no get distracted by promises of 'treats' and things of this world. Defend your territory." Deep stuff. God spoke to me clearly throughout the whole movie. I could hear Him challenging me, encouraging me, preparing me for change in my walk...moving me back toward discipline soon that I've had to neglect to do holiday.
It's really a phenomenal movie. Intense for young kids though, I'd say. We'll wait for ours, and my oldest is 9. But, they've not been exposed to a lot. My friend said when she saw it, nobody wanted to leave the theatre...they gave a standing ovation at the end. It was worthy of it in my opinion. Can't wait for the sequels (I'm hoping!).
until later,
me
12/10/2005
Left Behind
Ever get "left behind"?
Today, everyone in all creation is out doing wonderful things.
I am home doing wonderful things...but there is no email coming in, no phone ringing, no friend at home to talk to, and frankly...it's getting to me today.
I have a company dinner to sit through tonight. The wife of the person with a job who knows all the people. I need to paint my nails and wash my hair and look like I care. The service was slow at the restuarant last year, women started dancing inappropriately, and one of the hosts was too tipsy to be gracious. It was not fun. The food was not good. My drink never got refilled, and they were out of my favorite dessert by the time I got to the buffet.
I need childcare...again. Third time this week.
I love the holidays...but I wish we could spread it all out in such a way that it doesn't start to grate on my nerves on days like today. I want to have time to shop. That's all.
I'm almost done, but it seems to never be done!
Today, just a bit gripey.
But hey, I'm in my cozy flannel pjs at 3pm, addressing Christmas cards, something I wanted to get done....who can complain? Yes, I am a proud wearer of cozy, soft, warm, elastic, wonderful flannel-- no excuses. The the daily, it's quite a friend. If my 75 yr old father in law drops by, well, I can live with being in pajamas if I'm in flannel.
Well, I think I've covered this one pretty thorougly.
Send me mail! I'm mel...t...i...n.....g
me
Today, everyone in all creation is out doing wonderful things.
I am home doing wonderful things...but there is no email coming in, no phone ringing, no friend at home to talk to, and frankly...it's getting to me today.
I have a company dinner to sit through tonight. The wife of the person with a job who knows all the people. I need to paint my nails and wash my hair and look like I care. The service was slow at the restuarant last year, women started dancing inappropriately, and one of the hosts was too tipsy to be gracious. It was not fun. The food was not good. My drink never got refilled, and they were out of my favorite dessert by the time I got to the buffet.
I need childcare...again. Third time this week.
I love the holidays...but I wish we could spread it all out in such a way that it doesn't start to grate on my nerves on days like today. I want to have time to shop. That's all.
I'm almost done, but it seems to never be done!
Today, just a bit gripey.
But hey, I'm in my cozy flannel pjs at 3pm, addressing Christmas cards, something I wanted to get done....who can complain? Yes, I am a proud wearer of cozy, soft, warm, elastic, wonderful flannel-- no excuses. The the daily, it's quite a friend. If my 75 yr old father in law drops by, well, I can live with being in pajamas if I'm in flannel.
Well, I think I've covered this one pretty thorougly.
Send me mail! I'm mel...t...i...n.....g
me
12/09/2005
Part 2 of Gifts and Talents
Okay, start with the prior post if you get to this one first. It's a question and answer related to that post, which I do not mind doing. To discuss with me personally at length beyond this: email me. To talk to the group, I'll pipe in and out on the comment line...so go back and check your comment their if you bring up a question...someone may answer it there.
To The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: I was defining gifts Biblically according to I Cor. 13, and Galations, something or other. (3 or 5)
There are some talents, I suppose, which could fall under gifts of service, but many that don't really seem to be Spiritually empowered "gifts", but just human talent. If a person was a mechanic before coming to know Christ, it would seem that that talent would be "fleshly".
...but, is it? If God wanted, he could have limited his ability even as a non-believer. Right? God is making even non believers to a certain extent, right? Even those who are talented.
All that confuses me somewhat.
I think often the implication is implicit rather than explicit in teaching. More a matter of the words we use to teach something rather than a true disagreement I'm talking about here.
I have heard four respected, respectable teachers in the last month teach the talents are fleshly, more inclined to glorify the flesh; spiritual gifts are of the Spirit, unexplainable, more inclined to glorify the Spirit--they cannot be humanly explained.
Does that not imply that Spiritual gifts are preferrable, higher, more worthy, more to be sought after? Scripture does say to eagerly desire the greater gifts, and certainly, we do want the gifts of the Spirit! However, I hear Paul wanting to say here something he says in another place just what I am wanting to say: "Do the one without neglecting the other." Do the one, and the other may flow without our digging at it so much. Obsessing over it. Worrying about it. Wondering if we have it. Concerned that it is the hidden key we have not yet found in our Christian lives. Often it comes across that way, yet, the Spirit is in us. If He is active in us. If we are obeying, it should be naturally flowing already. We may not see it, but others likely do.
I often speak of "balance". Funny, because three years ago a friend spoke that to me as something I should seek. I didn't even know what was meant or what it was. "Balance? Can you tell me what you are referring to, exactly?" This has been one of the greatest teaching points of the last three years of my life. To do the one, without neglecting the other. To enjoy the fleshly and mundane as a release point for the weight of the spiritual responsibilities and disciplines. I leaned toward the misunderstanding that everything fleshly was inferior. I now do not feel so much this way. There has been a freedom and a release in this understanding I have never had before. For the first time, I can say I am really enjoying life. I feel like I was mean to enjoy something besides the superiority of the spiritual. Now, the earthly joys are a dim shadow of the all surpassing knowledge of knowing Him. But, God also enjoys our enjoying life as an act of our worship to Him. Does this not strike anyone else as profound? I see and understand this most as a mother. On days I watch my kids having fun and just enjoying the day, playing together cooperatively rather than griping and complaining and picking and bored, wishing their was something more exciting to do..."Ah! Oh! I am SO blessed!" I rather think this is how God feels.
We want to think we could be doing something oh so much more significant, when some days, I hear Him say to me, "Okay, what is the thing that needs to be done?" I say, "Washing the dishes." And He says, "Let's go do it together. Do it unto me. That is what will give me pleasure." And I feel a sense of His joy and satisfaction in my work come over me again. We get so caught up in the "greater" at times...we lose the pleasure of just doing the next thing that needs to be done, gifting or not. I suppose this may come down to the heart of the servant..."I don't care if I 'shine' in this or not. Am 'noticed' in this or not. This is my strongest point or not."
To me, this is the joy of "a life of worship" I was referring to a couple days agao. This is the key to learning to have rest. This is the relaxation needed to carry a life filled with the greater gifts. Valuing family, enjoying friends. The mundane is the relief point.
There is such a huge feeling of responsibility that comes with 'greater gifts', if you never learn to also focus on enjoying the release of the mundane, you will be overwhelmed by them. They are too great for us in our fleshly state without the thought of balance. This is a lesson I have not fully learned. But, perhaps I am straying from the question.
So often in my own life, and many in their Christian lives...people are looking for the key, the key that will unlock their service, their Christian life to it's fullest. The thing they are missing. I just want to say to that person that Christ is the beginning and the end. The gifts will flow. He will make us.
It may help to learn to identify gifts for us to have an inkling as to where and how to coooperate, but, something in me wants to just say: "Are you really doing what you already know to do? Do that, give it to Him, everything, and I guarantee you that the gifts will flow to help you do it effectively." Oh, yes, we can learn to walk in gifts more effectively by study and reading and exemplifying others we respect. But, I think we can obsess over it. Perhaps I say this because I've walked with some people out of balance for a season...perhaps where God was calling them. But, that is not where He was calling me, and that's okay. Doesn't make me inferior. It makes me where God wants me and them where God wants them.
Well, I feel like I'm rambling. The areas we stumble around with can get distracting to us, I suppose, to teach us. I just wish there was more clear teaching in this area. And perhaps it is not as clear as we'd like to believe anyway.
Thanks for listening, considering, and thinking along with me. If you get an epiphany or have a revelation on this in the next few weeks, come back and comment...I get the comments by email and the blog they link back to. I'll see it.
~Me
To The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: I was defining gifts Biblically according to I Cor. 13, and Galations, something or other. (3 or 5)
There are some talents, I suppose, which could fall under gifts of service, but many that don't really seem to be Spiritually empowered "gifts", but just human talent. If a person was a mechanic before coming to know Christ, it would seem that that talent would be "fleshly".
...but, is it? If God wanted, he could have limited his ability even as a non-believer. Right? God is making even non believers to a certain extent, right? Even those who are talented.
All that confuses me somewhat.
I think often the implication is implicit rather than explicit in teaching. More a matter of the words we use to teach something rather than a true disagreement I'm talking about here.
I have heard four respected, respectable teachers in the last month teach the talents are fleshly, more inclined to glorify the flesh; spiritual gifts are of the Spirit, unexplainable, more inclined to glorify the Spirit--they cannot be humanly explained.
Does that not imply that Spiritual gifts are preferrable, higher, more worthy, more to be sought after? Scripture does say to eagerly desire the greater gifts, and certainly, we do want the gifts of the Spirit! However, I hear Paul wanting to say here something he says in another place just what I am wanting to say: "Do the one without neglecting the other." Do the one, and the other may flow without our digging at it so much. Obsessing over it. Worrying about it. Wondering if we have it. Concerned that it is the hidden key we have not yet found in our Christian lives. Often it comes across that way, yet, the Spirit is in us. If He is active in us. If we are obeying, it should be naturally flowing already. We may not see it, but others likely do.
I often speak of "balance". Funny, because three years ago a friend spoke that to me as something I should seek. I didn't even know what was meant or what it was. "Balance? Can you tell me what you are referring to, exactly?" This has been one of the greatest teaching points of the last three years of my life. To do the one, without neglecting the other. To enjoy the fleshly and mundane as a release point for the weight of the spiritual responsibilities and disciplines. I leaned toward the misunderstanding that everything fleshly was inferior. I now do not feel so much this way. There has been a freedom and a release in this understanding I have never had before. For the first time, I can say I am really enjoying life. I feel like I was mean to enjoy something besides the superiority of the spiritual. Now, the earthly joys are a dim shadow of the all surpassing knowledge of knowing Him. But, God also enjoys our enjoying life as an act of our worship to Him. Does this not strike anyone else as profound? I see and understand this most as a mother. On days I watch my kids having fun and just enjoying the day, playing together cooperatively rather than griping and complaining and picking and bored, wishing their was something more exciting to do..."Ah! Oh! I am SO blessed!" I rather think this is how God feels.
We want to think we could be doing something oh so much more significant, when some days, I hear Him say to me, "Okay, what is the thing that needs to be done?" I say, "Washing the dishes." And He says, "Let's go do it together. Do it unto me. That is what will give me pleasure." And I feel a sense of His joy and satisfaction in my work come over me again. We get so caught up in the "greater" at times...we lose the pleasure of just doing the next thing that needs to be done, gifting or not. I suppose this may come down to the heart of the servant..."I don't care if I 'shine' in this or not. Am 'noticed' in this or not. This is my strongest point or not."
To me, this is the joy of "a life of worship" I was referring to a couple days agao. This is the key to learning to have rest. This is the relaxation needed to carry a life filled with the greater gifts. Valuing family, enjoying friends. The mundane is the relief point.
There is such a huge feeling of responsibility that comes with 'greater gifts', if you never learn to also focus on enjoying the release of the mundane, you will be overwhelmed by them. They are too great for us in our fleshly state without the thought of balance. This is a lesson I have not fully learned. But, perhaps I am straying from the question.
So often in my own life, and many in their Christian lives...people are looking for the key, the key that will unlock their service, their Christian life to it's fullest. The thing they are missing. I just want to say to that person that Christ is the beginning and the end. The gifts will flow. He will make us.
It may help to learn to identify gifts for us to have an inkling as to where and how to coooperate, but, something in me wants to just say: "Are you really doing what you already know to do? Do that, give it to Him, everything, and I guarantee you that the gifts will flow to help you do it effectively." Oh, yes, we can learn to walk in gifts more effectively by study and reading and exemplifying others we respect. But, I think we can obsess over it. Perhaps I say this because I've walked with some people out of balance for a season...perhaps where God was calling them. But, that is not where He was calling me, and that's okay. Doesn't make me inferior. It makes me where God wants me and them where God wants them.
Well, I feel like I'm rambling. The areas we stumble around with can get distracting to us, I suppose, to teach us. I just wish there was more clear teaching in this area. And perhaps it is not as clear as we'd like to believe anyway.
Thanks for listening, considering, and thinking along with me. If you get an epiphany or have a revelation on this in the next few weeks, come back and comment...I get the comments by email and the blog they link back to. I'll see it.
~Me
12/08/2005
Ice, Gifts, and Talents
No snow yet to speak of. Sleet. Ice...beautiful on branches. Roads fairly clear. Tomorrow, children home. Husband back to work. Another play.
Today. Pizza out with my family. Work on projects. Hot cider. Warm coffee (mine stinks...I got grounds in it...my husband just REALLY needs to make the coffee around here!)
Movies...part 3 & 4 of Anne of Green Gables...much war...hard for the kids to see and understand...hard for me to watch. Very emotional. Very "adult" problems. Anne grew up.
Staggering for a daughter who only read the book, I think. But, I suppose good for them to realize the pressures of adulthood for some.
Today. Guitar. Piano...first time in months to sit at home and just play. Just want to sing. Wrapped gifts. Dreamed. What ifs.
Tonight. Pondering deep things. Like...why people say that talents are of the flesh, yet gifts are of the spirit because talents can be done without the Spirit, whereas gifts only with the Spirit.
I see this. Yet, we are holistic. God is making us into all that we are, gifts and talents included. Either can point to self wrongly used.
We are to eagerly pursue the greater gifts. Yet...not eagerly pursue talents also. I think so! I think the law of the harvest comes into play. Invest all you have, not wasting anything, and more will be given you. Hide what you have, don't invest it, serve with it, look for ways to glorify Him with it, and well, the opposite happens. He says, "even what you have will be taken from you."
More and more as I do MasterLife, I believe we are less flesh versus spirit, but "flesh and spirit". To divide it all out and try to tag this as flesh and that as spirit seems like a mute point. We are all His. All of us. All He is making us.
I am seeking out input on this from mentors...not because I don't understand it. I think I do. It is in trying to grow and disciple new believers. Do we demean who God has already been making them to be by saying, "Oh, that's just a talent. We need to search for your 'gift'". Well, God values both and can use both. He can use anything He wants in us. We have to learn to thank Him and consecrate even the weaknesses He has left in us unperfected...for His glory. I really believe if they could not be used for His glory, somehow, He'd take them away.
Do we tell anyone to do a personality weakness test so that they will know how to best cooperate with God so that He can be glorified, even in their weaknesses? Why not? This seems more critical. The gifts will flow. The weaknesses we have to resolve to value and deal with correctly much more vigilently.
Talents...I look back over my life and see that so many things He's drawn me toward are wise and practical, but for where I am in my life...they do not fit. Why are they there? To glorify Him. I could more easily glorify myself ignoring them. Save myself time, energy, and effort. But, using the talents, I glorify Him more.
Example: sewing. I want my duaghter to learn the benefit of doing some things yourself. Of making a home. Of saving money here and there. Of caring for your family. Does is make sense? At times, no. But, I feel His pleasure in it, for me, for now, so I continue to learn and strive, and occassionally wrestle with a sewing machine. There are days it wins.
I suppose for too many years I had a different perspective. If only I could "be more spiritual". I'm just not sure now that is His whole plan. We are to be everything He has made and is making us to be...whatever that is. If it's a pull toward ice hockey...and He's leading. Run toward it, I say. If/when you have your spouse's/family's blessing.
Well, the uncrackling gas logs beckon. Your perspective welcome. Email ME or comment!
Good night,
Me
Today. Pizza out with my family. Work on projects. Hot cider. Warm coffee (mine stinks...I got grounds in it...my husband just REALLY needs to make the coffee around here!)
Movies...part 3 & 4 of Anne of Green Gables...much war...hard for the kids to see and understand...hard for me to watch. Very emotional. Very "adult" problems. Anne grew up.
Staggering for a daughter who only read the book, I think. But, I suppose good for them to realize the pressures of adulthood for some.
Today. Guitar. Piano...first time in months to sit at home and just play. Just want to sing. Wrapped gifts. Dreamed. What ifs.
Tonight. Pondering deep things. Like...why people say that talents are of the flesh, yet gifts are of the spirit because talents can be done without the Spirit, whereas gifts only with the Spirit.
I see this. Yet, we are holistic. God is making us into all that we are, gifts and talents included. Either can point to self wrongly used.
We are to eagerly pursue the greater gifts. Yet...not eagerly pursue talents also. I think so! I think the law of the harvest comes into play. Invest all you have, not wasting anything, and more will be given you. Hide what you have, don't invest it, serve with it, look for ways to glorify Him with it, and well, the opposite happens. He says, "even what you have will be taken from you."
More and more as I do MasterLife, I believe we are less flesh versus spirit, but "flesh and spirit". To divide it all out and try to tag this as flesh and that as spirit seems like a mute point. We are all His. All of us. All He is making us.
I am seeking out input on this from mentors...not because I don't understand it. I think I do. It is in trying to grow and disciple new believers. Do we demean who God has already been making them to be by saying, "Oh, that's just a talent. We need to search for your 'gift'". Well, God values both and can use both. He can use anything He wants in us. We have to learn to thank Him and consecrate even the weaknesses He has left in us unperfected...for His glory. I really believe if they could not be used for His glory, somehow, He'd take them away.
Do we tell anyone to do a personality weakness test so that they will know how to best cooperate with God so that He can be glorified, even in their weaknesses? Why not? This seems more critical. The gifts will flow. The weaknesses we have to resolve to value and deal with correctly much more vigilently.
Talents...I look back over my life and see that so many things He's drawn me toward are wise and practical, but for where I am in my life...they do not fit. Why are they there? To glorify Him. I could more easily glorify myself ignoring them. Save myself time, energy, and effort. But, using the talents, I glorify Him more.
Example: sewing. I want my duaghter to learn the benefit of doing some things yourself. Of making a home. Of saving money here and there. Of caring for your family. Does is make sense? At times, no. But, I feel His pleasure in it, for me, for now, so I continue to learn and strive, and occassionally wrestle with a sewing machine. There are days it wins.
I suppose for too many years I had a different perspective. If only I could "be more spiritual". I'm just not sure now that is His whole plan. We are to be everything He has made and is making us to be...whatever that is. If it's a pull toward ice hockey...and He's leading. Run toward it, I say. If/when you have your spouse's/family's blessing.
Well, the uncrackling gas logs beckon. Your perspective welcome. Email ME or comment!
Good night,
Me
Lover's Songs
Today I've got 80s lovers music going through my head, and it's all good, and it's all accurate.
Snow day. Lord, I saw that coming, but it's better than I imagined. THANK YOU!
Last night, fell asleep in front of the fire on some pillows for an hour or so. Mmmmm. Gas logs hiss...real fires crack and pop...but, you don't have to worry about one popping out on you and you catching on fire in your sleep! Trade off.
Got up, went to bed, ready to spring out at 6AM this morning to get to the theatre by 7. At 6AM, opted for a huge bubble bath to commemorate the finishing of the housecleaning and the success of the party finished. My back was tight.
Soaking...the phone rang. No school. No audience. Three shows today are off.
But, I was rested, so I didn't mind having gotten up. And I soaked. Water so hot you could boil the peel off a turnip.
Mmmmm.
Then, I went and fixed some leftover hot drink a friend brought last night...it was cranapple and a mix from The Biltmore house. It was absolutely Mmmmmmmmm.
Toast WITH butter, which we never eat. Apples. Raspberry Yoplait Yogurt.
I took it to hubby in bed, who decided yesterday to take a day off today, foreseeing bad weather. Good hubby! He had to go in for a while this morning, but it made for a slow, breakfast in bed, slow, easy, Mmmmmmmmm morning.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
I love it, Lord. Oooooh. I love it. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! And, Merry Christmas to you, too. You give me what I need.
Today, home with one girl. A movie day, thankfully (late taking movies back to the library we hadn't seen! Yes! Late fees pay off at times). Tape 3 and 4 of Anne of Green Gables.
I foresee finishing my one little scrapbook left on the school order while I watch, making a few more gifts, and having lots of girl time.
Oops... I hear the garage door. Hubbie is home. Eeeek! I slept in TOO late. Well,, there goes craft day and girl time, but it will be good...we'll see what plans he's cooked up for himself!
~Me!
Snow day. Lord, I saw that coming, but it's better than I imagined. THANK YOU!
Last night, fell asleep in front of the fire on some pillows for an hour or so. Mmmmm. Gas logs hiss...real fires crack and pop...but, you don't have to worry about one popping out on you and you catching on fire in your sleep! Trade off.
Got up, went to bed, ready to spring out at 6AM this morning to get to the theatre by 7. At 6AM, opted for a huge bubble bath to commemorate the finishing of the housecleaning and the success of the party finished. My back was tight.
Soaking...the phone rang. No school. No audience. Three shows today are off.
But, I was rested, so I didn't mind having gotten up. And I soaked. Water so hot you could boil the peel off a turnip.
Mmmmm.
Then, I went and fixed some leftover hot drink a friend brought last night...it was cranapple and a mix from The Biltmore house. It was absolutely Mmmmmmmmm.
Toast WITH butter, which we never eat. Apples. Raspberry Yoplait Yogurt.
I took it to hubby in bed, who decided yesterday to take a day off today, foreseeing bad weather. Good hubby! He had to go in for a while this morning, but it made for a slow, breakfast in bed, slow, easy, Mmmmmmmmm morning.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
I love it, Lord. Oooooh. I love it. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! And, Merry Christmas to you, too. You give me what I need.
Today, home with one girl. A movie day, thankfully (late taking movies back to the library we hadn't seen! Yes! Late fees pay off at times). Tape 3 and 4 of Anne of Green Gables.
I foresee finishing my one little scrapbook left on the school order while I watch, making a few more gifts, and having lots of girl time.
Oops... I hear the garage door. Hubbie is home. Eeeek! I slept in TOO late. Well,, there goes craft day and girl time, but it will be good...we'll see what plans he's cooked up for himself!
~Me!
12/07/2005
Blessed
Today...I put up more Christmas lights!
I found two prints for my bathroom for that blank spot on the wall, and I REALLY like them. 50% off Hobby Lobby--Yes!
I touched up with paint a few placed on the walls...doesn't look so great, but I tried.
I drove an hour to pick up my computer.
I got some more glass ornaments to paint for friends.
I went to Lowe's and bought a lavendar poinsettia to give to my mother in law for being the world's greatest this week. It had pastel glitter all over it. It was cool.
THEN....I came home and tackled this house like nothing you've ever seen. Never did get to mop the kitchen floor, but I wasn't sticking to it yet. Had twenty people here for MasterLife and food. Was great. I love those guys. Such a diverse group.
My high school home ed teacher is visiting our church for the class. She looked at me and said, "Student, show me what you've done with the place." Whew. I forgot she'd taught me home ec! She gave me an A!
I try to use what I've been given and not duplicate just for the sake of the trend or replacement. I want so much to just live simply. To not be pulled by the desire to compare, compete, or all those things that can keep me SO busy constantly.
Oh, I like a touch of the new. But, I LOVE the old. Making something useful out of everything. Not thowing it away only to have to replace it with something else. I like that.
Today has blessed me. No, I still didn't get to my Bible study, but I will catch up! All in all, I think God taught me the same lessons without my opening the book, and I enjoyed what I was supposed to this week...my girl and her play, and entertaining my friends.
It's Christmas! Time for a break. A party. A smile. A gift. Aaaah. Rest in it.
Looks like I'll be driving in the ice and snow tomorrow to do the play. Pray for the safety of our lead actors in particular...driving age and a 40 minute commute. Pray for wisdom on our parts as to how to handle the schedule. The theatre survives off of showing kids shows...we really need to do the shows. Hard deicision.
~Me!
I found two prints for my bathroom for that blank spot on the wall, and I REALLY like them. 50% off Hobby Lobby--Yes!
I touched up with paint a few placed on the walls...doesn't look so great, but I tried.
I drove an hour to pick up my computer.
I got some more glass ornaments to paint for friends.
I went to Lowe's and bought a lavendar poinsettia to give to my mother in law for being the world's greatest this week. It had pastel glitter all over it. It was cool.
THEN....I came home and tackled this house like nothing you've ever seen. Never did get to mop the kitchen floor, but I wasn't sticking to it yet. Had twenty people here for MasterLife and food. Was great. I love those guys. Such a diverse group.
My high school home ed teacher is visiting our church for the class. She looked at me and said, "Student, show me what you've done with the place." Whew. I forgot she'd taught me home ec! She gave me an A!
I try to use what I've been given and not duplicate just for the sake of the trend or replacement. I want so much to just live simply. To not be pulled by the desire to compare, compete, or all those things that can keep me SO busy constantly.
Oh, I like a touch of the new. But, I LOVE the old. Making something useful out of everything. Not thowing it away only to have to replace it with something else. I like that.
Today has blessed me. No, I still didn't get to my Bible study, but I will catch up! All in all, I think God taught me the same lessons without my opening the book, and I enjoyed what I was supposed to this week...my girl and her play, and entertaining my friends.
It's Christmas! Time for a break. A party. A smile. A gift. Aaaah. Rest in it.
Looks like I'll be driving in the ice and snow tomorrow to do the play. Pray for the safety of our lead actors in particular...driving age and a 40 minute commute. Pray for wisdom on our parts as to how to handle the schedule. The theatre survives off of showing kids shows...we really need to do the shows. Hard deicision.
~Me!
12/06/2005
A New Kind of Worship
Lord Jesus,
I love you. I just want you to kow that. I am pushing hard...but all for you, with you, past my limit and into the place where your grace and sufficiency dwells...for sure. The twinkling lights say "thank you". The candy says, "come eat with me", the gifts "you are a treasured part of my life, and no matter what, I want you to know and remember that every time you see this."
I remember often this time of year the Proverb that says something to the effect that a gift will calm the savage soul, the offended friend, the distant one. Each year, I think of some friendship I've let fall by the wayside and take something to let them know I care. I don't care if a gift is returned. I don't care if it makes them feel guilty mementarily...the idea is to rekindle the soul tie in some memorable way that says..."I still remember you. This relationship is valuable to me, even though it may not look the way it used to.
It's hard to take a risk and do that. Try it. You'll see what I mean.
I was cleaning my craft- guest- sick- sewing-stuff room a few minutes ago and ran across a Beth Moore assignment from a study I did a couple years ago in very much a "hanker down and survive" season in my faith and in my life. The question she asked us to address in letter form was, "What seek ye?"
I remember that it took me a month to muster up the courage to answer that question. And, the answer seemed very "obvious" to me at the time. Made perfect sense. Was Biblical.
But, now, I go back and read my "enlightened" answer (seemingly so at the time), and it seems so foreign to me...a million lifetimes ago. Limited. Wow.
I said, in a manner of words: "Christ is all, and all in all. Seek ye first the kingdom of God...those who put their hope in the Lord will never be disappointed or put to shame. I seek you. I want to seek you. You said that this is eternal life, that we lay down our lives...I do not want to be disappointed with life...so I seek you and you only."
I guess, somehow, in that crucible, God gave me something. I know I possess something now that I did not then. Articulating it may prove hard.
I think a lot of it, for me, came from studying The Purpose Driven Life. (One reason for the name of this blog.) It's not so much that having a Purpose seemed like such a foreign or new idea to me...No. It was the principles of worship...ones I learned there and ones God started whapping me over the head with (I'm a little hard headed...I give him permission. He tries to be a gentleman about the whole thing, whapping and all).
I fought this one, that "all of life should be, and can be worship." All thought should be and can be, prayer.
Well...heaven's sake, I said, what's the reverence in that? That takes away from the "thing" I do, the moments we as a team try to create for people. We are at worship, when all the world fades away! All of life can be given to God and He'll use it, but that's not worship.
Well, I think he was right. Now, don't get me wrong, I never agreed to this argument particularly. Discussed it with some I respect. At length. A few times. Kept arguing. Never changed my mind.
But, God started to change my life. My outlook. My perception. My daily agenda. My priorities. And you know what? For me, it was a move AWAY from church, the scriptures, and my prayer time, and "filling" times. Now, does that sound sacriligious and quirky or not? Well, I'm not telling you to stop...I'm just telling you that I was out of balance.
I was missing the experience of just living and walking with Him, trusting Him moment by moment. Somehow, I wanted the anointing for the day, or I would not go forward until I had it, as if my daily living wasn't enough. As if it didn't do a thing in the world for Him. I didn't trust myself, or Him, enough. I wanted assurance that we were doing something relevant and His plan, or I was literally paralyzed.
Now, you know what? I realized something, profound to me anyway. That is, to live fully, to enjoy my family, to minister to their needs and others I see in my day, to be mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically available TO THEM..this was my acceptable and spiritual act of worship. Now, that doesn't sound so far out saying it that way...but do I really need to pray about direction and anointing to wash the dishes and do the laundry and take a shower and minister to my family? I need His moment by moment filling, but mainly, I just need to obey and get off my tail end and do it. It does not take the kind of time or added instruction I was needing. Now, don't get me wrong, yes, there is a "daily" filling, a "daily" direction. I just lost my joy in the regular.
How much added "direction" do I need to surrender myself to my family? Well, a lot, as I go...but a whole, I know what I need to be about. I can do it with His strength. And He is pleased when I do it as if I were sitting there praying or singing or reading His word. I no longer partition out my day as I used to...and I'm not explainig well. I'm just not used to it all yet I suppose.
If I did everything I needed to do every day for them...I'd be more than busy from sunrise 'til long past sunset in certain seasons...this being one of them. I hit the ground running and lay down exhausted...and because that is where I need to be in this seaons...that IS my worship. So, I strive to immerse myself in it ...on the lookout for moments to capture, to save, to savor, to enjoy with Him. To let go of self critique and just know He's thrilled to death that I'm trying! I'm doing it! The rest...well, that is perseverance and survival of the fittest. And we are the fittest!
Somewhere along the way my "hate of the world" as compared to my love for Christ became more of a hate of the world than He ever intended! You know, "you must hate your father and mother and brother and come follow after me"? He loved the world! He enjoyed it. Laughed with it. Cherished His time here. Got mad here and there. But, He partied and lived with people in the moment past the point of fatigue and hunger and physical needs.
I guess what I'm saying is...for this season, being out of balance is what God is calling me to in order to worship Him. No, I can't stay here, and if I get too tired, I KNOW having done this long enough...he finds a way to bail me out, give me a break, provide rest.
But, in the meantime, He is for me, in my corner, rooting for me, and He wants me to have a good time playing the game with Him. He delights in watching me play the game. Just like I enjoy watching my daughter do her stage time. Her work and activity is my delight. Her nap on the couch afterward dog tired is my delight.
Whatever delights the Lord is what brings worship, glory, and honor to Him! So, go take a nap and worship God. (Sounds funny, huh?) Go put up your Christmas lights and lift him up in celebration. Go shop and honor those you love...honoring Him in your decisions to not overspend or overdo, but to love. He is worshipped. Now, you can take it too far and never set aside alone time with Him or in His word...you'll miss it and He'll draw you back to it. But, don't panic if it's not happening. He knows. Just keep going with Him.
Bedtime. I'm going to go get ready for another full day of worship tomorrow. I took the long road here, but just had it on my mind. Interested in your thoughts. Hope it spurred you to think. Comment or email with your opinions, ideas, or thoughts. I'm interested.
Blessings!
me
I love you. I just want you to kow that. I am pushing hard...but all for you, with you, past my limit and into the place where your grace and sufficiency dwells...for sure. The twinkling lights say "thank you". The candy says, "come eat with me", the gifts "you are a treasured part of my life, and no matter what, I want you to know and remember that every time you see this."
I remember often this time of year the Proverb that says something to the effect that a gift will calm the savage soul, the offended friend, the distant one. Each year, I think of some friendship I've let fall by the wayside and take something to let them know I care. I don't care if a gift is returned. I don't care if it makes them feel guilty mementarily...the idea is to rekindle the soul tie in some memorable way that says..."I still remember you. This relationship is valuable to me, even though it may not look the way it used to.
It's hard to take a risk and do that. Try it. You'll see what I mean.
I was cleaning my craft- guest- sick- sewing-stuff room a few minutes ago and ran across a Beth Moore assignment from a study I did a couple years ago in very much a "hanker down and survive" season in my faith and in my life. The question she asked us to address in letter form was, "What seek ye?"
I remember that it took me a month to muster up the courage to answer that question. And, the answer seemed very "obvious" to me at the time. Made perfect sense. Was Biblical.
But, now, I go back and read my "enlightened" answer (seemingly so at the time), and it seems so foreign to me...a million lifetimes ago. Limited. Wow.
I said, in a manner of words: "Christ is all, and all in all. Seek ye first the kingdom of God...those who put their hope in the Lord will never be disappointed or put to shame. I seek you. I want to seek you. You said that this is eternal life, that we lay down our lives...I do not want to be disappointed with life...so I seek you and you only."
I guess, somehow, in that crucible, God gave me something. I know I possess something now that I did not then. Articulating it may prove hard.
I think a lot of it, for me, came from studying The Purpose Driven Life. (One reason for the name of this blog.) It's not so much that having a Purpose seemed like such a foreign or new idea to me...No. It was the principles of worship...ones I learned there and ones God started whapping me over the head with (I'm a little hard headed...I give him permission. He tries to be a gentleman about the whole thing, whapping and all).
I fought this one, that "all of life should be, and can be worship." All thought should be and can be, prayer.
Well...heaven's sake, I said, what's the reverence in that? That takes away from the "thing" I do, the moments we as a team try to create for people. We are at worship, when all the world fades away! All of life can be given to God and He'll use it, but that's not worship.
Well, I think he was right. Now, don't get me wrong, I never agreed to this argument particularly. Discussed it with some I respect. At length. A few times. Kept arguing. Never changed my mind.
But, God started to change my life. My outlook. My perception. My daily agenda. My priorities. And you know what? For me, it was a move AWAY from church, the scriptures, and my prayer time, and "filling" times. Now, does that sound sacriligious and quirky or not? Well, I'm not telling you to stop...I'm just telling you that I was out of balance.
I was missing the experience of just living and walking with Him, trusting Him moment by moment. Somehow, I wanted the anointing for the day, or I would not go forward until I had it, as if my daily living wasn't enough. As if it didn't do a thing in the world for Him. I didn't trust myself, or Him, enough. I wanted assurance that we were doing something relevant and His plan, or I was literally paralyzed.
Now, you know what? I realized something, profound to me anyway. That is, to live fully, to enjoy my family, to minister to their needs and others I see in my day, to be mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically available TO THEM..this was my acceptable and spiritual act of worship. Now, that doesn't sound so far out saying it that way...but do I really need to pray about direction and anointing to wash the dishes and do the laundry and take a shower and minister to my family? I need His moment by moment filling, but mainly, I just need to obey and get off my tail end and do it. It does not take the kind of time or added instruction I was needing. Now, don't get me wrong, yes, there is a "daily" filling, a "daily" direction. I just lost my joy in the regular.
How much added "direction" do I need to surrender myself to my family? Well, a lot, as I go...but a whole, I know what I need to be about. I can do it with His strength. And He is pleased when I do it as if I were sitting there praying or singing or reading His word. I no longer partition out my day as I used to...and I'm not explainig well. I'm just not used to it all yet I suppose.
If I did everything I needed to do every day for them...I'd be more than busy from sunrise 'til long past sunset in certain seasons...this being one of them. I hit the ground running and lay down exhausted...and because that is where I need to be in this seaons...that IS my worship. So, I strive to immerse myself in it ...on the lookout for moments to capture, to save, to savor, to enjoy with Him. To let go of self critique and just know He's thrilled to death that I'm trying! I'm doing it! The rest...well, that is perseverance and survival of the fittest. And we are the fittest!
Somewhere along the way my "hate of the world" as compared to my love for Christ became more of a hate of the world than He ever intended! You know, "you must hate your father and mother and brother and come follow after me"? He loved the world! He enjoyed it. Laughed with it. Cherished His time here. Got mad here and there. But, He partied and lived with people in the moment past the point of fatigue and hunger and physical needs.
I guess what I'm saying is...for this season, being out of balance is what God is calling me to in order to worship Him. No, I can't stay here, and if I get too tired, I KNOW having done this long enough...he finds a way to bail me out, give me a break, provide rest.
But, in the meantime, He is for me, in my corner, rooting for me, and He wants me to have a good time playing the game with Him. He delights in watching me play the game. Just like I enjoy watching my daughter do her stage time. Her work and activity is my delight. Her nap on the couch afterward dog tired is my delight.
Whatever delights the Lord is what brings worship, glory, and honor to Him! So, go take a nap and worship God. (Sounds funny, huh?) Go put up your Christmas lights and lift him up in celebration. Go shop and honor those you love...honoring Him in your decisions to not overspend or overdo, but to love. He is worshipped. Now, you can take it too far and never set aside alone time with Him or in His word...you'll miss it and He'll draw you back to it. But, don't panic if it's not happening. He knows. Just keep going with Him.
Bedtime. I'm going to go get ready for another full day of worship tomorrow. I took the long road here, but just had it on my mind. Interested in your thoughts. Hope it spurred you to think. Comment or email with your opinions, ideas, or thoughts. I'm interested.
Blessings!
me
SHUT UP!!!!
SHUT UP! Ever said it? Why is it so much worse than hush up, or be quiet? Well, it's generally a last resort around here...along the lines of a sacred demand by the time we come to that point...with three kids so close in age, all active "talkers" now...that point comes more and more frequently, unfortunately.
Yes, it bothers me also when people tell their children to shut up.
I never do that.
*Hckhmmm*.
Unless they aren't listening to anything else, and I'm in traffic, and I can't think anymore, and it's an emergency, or we are in church, and they know we aren't supposed to to say it, and I know it will get there attention that I'm having to say something I hate for us to say just to get their attention, and I can't help it...
Okay, so working on that. But, the rest of the time I am a calm and gentle, mild mannered, Proverbs 31 woman. Really. Okay, so working on that,too.
Anyway, for those of you interested in odd trivie for the week, here's the scoop on "shut up":
shut
O.E. scyttan "to put in place so as to fasten a door or gate," from W.Gmc. *skutjanan (cf. O.Fris. schetta, M.Du. schutten "to shut, shut up, obstruct"), from P.Gmc. *skut- "project" (see shoot). Meaning "to close by folding or bringing together" is from c.1366. Sense of "to set (someone) free (from)" (c.1500) is obsolete except in dial. phrases such as to get shut of. Colloquial shut-eye for "sleep" is from 1899. To shut (one's) mouth "desist from speaking" is recorded from 1340. Shut up (v.) first recorded 1840. Shut-in "person confined from normal social intercourse" is from 1904. Shut out in baseball sense is from 1881 (v.), 1889 (n.). from
Etymonline.com
And how does that relate to the origen of the word "tattoo"...well, that gets really twisted, but hey, while we are here in no man's land (and who knows where that came from?)...
"What is the origin of the word tattoo?
Tattoo "to form permanent designs on the skin by inserting pigment" is of Polynesian origin. Captain Cook encountered it among Polynesians during his Pacific voyages, and it is in his writings of 1769 that we first find the word in English in the form tattow. The Polynesian word is usually rendered as 'tatau and it is a noun. Cook formed the verb to tattow, as well. The Polynesian term for the act of tattooing is ta 'tatau "to strike or stamp a tattoo".
There is another word tattoo. It is a military term and refers to a signal on bugle or drum for soldiers to retire to their quarters for the evening. It dates from 1644 and derives from Dutch taptoe which had the same meaning. The Dutch term derived from tap (spigot) and toe, which was short for doe toe "shut". The meaning was literally "shut the tap" but was figurative for "shut up" or "shut your mouth", and came to be used to send soldiers to bed. The term was applied to the signal to send them to bed, and then to elaborations on such bugle or drum signals for purposes of entertaining the soldiers. Today the latter sense is the one encountered most often with this version of the word tattoo. "
Sending soldiers to bed...sounds like I can now say shut up to my kids in good conscience?
Ah, still rubs me the wrong way, too. I'm going to have to completely reorient my speech after all this...and that's probably a good thing!
me
Yes, it bothers me also when people tell their children to shut up.
I never do that.
*Hckhmmm*.
Unless they aren't listening to anything else, and I'm in traffic, and I can't think anymore, and it's an emergency, or we are in church, and they know we aren't supposed to to say it, and I know it will get there attention that I'm having to say something I hate for us to say just to get their attention, and I can't help it...
Okay, so working on that. But, the rest of the time I am a calm and gentle, mild mannered, Proverbs 31 woman. Really. Okay, so working on that,too.
Anyway, for those of you interested in odd trivie for the week, here's the scoop on "shut up":
shut
O.E. scyttan "to put in place so as to fasten a door or gate," from W.Gmc. *skutjanan (cf. O.Fris. schetta, M.Du. schutten "to shut, shut up, obstruct"), from P.Gmc. *skut- "project" (see shoot). Meaning "to close by folding or bringing together" is from c.1366. Sense of "to set (someone) free (from)" (c.1500) is obsolete except in dial. phrases such as to get shut of. Colloquial shut-eye for "sleep" is from 1899. To shut (one's) mouth "desist from speaking" is recorded from 1340. Shut up (v.) first recorded 1840. Shut-in "person confined from normal social intercourse" is from 1904. Shut out in baseball sense is from 1881 (v.), 1889 (n.). from
Etymonline.com
And how does that relate to the origen of the word "tattoo"...well, that gets really twisted, but hey, while we are here in no man's land (and who knows where that came from?)...
"What is the origin of the word tattoo?
Tattoo "to form permanent designs on the skin by inserting pigment" is of Polynesian origin. Captain Cook encountered it among Polynesians during his Pacific voyages, and it is in his writings of 1769 that we first find the word in English in the form tattow. The Polynesian word is usually rendered as 'tatau and it is a noun. Cook formed the verb to tattow, as well. The Polynesian term for the act of tattooing is ta 'tatau "to strike or stamp a tattoo".
There is another word tattoo. It is a military term and refers to a signal on bugle or drum for soldiers to retire to their quarters for the evening. It dates from 1644 and derives from Dutch taptoe which had the same meaning. The Dutch term derived from tap (spigot) and toe, which was short for doe toe "shut". The meaning was literally "shut the tap" but was figurative for "shut up" or "shut your mouth", and came to be used to send soldiers to bed. The term was applied to the signal to send them to bed, and then to elaborations on such bugle or drum signals for purposes of entertaining the soldiers. Today the latter sense is the one encountered most often with this version of the word tattoo. "
Sending soldiers to bed...sounds like I can now say shut up to my kids in good conscience?
Ah, still rubs me the wrong way, too. I'm going to have to completely reorient my speech after all this...and that's probably a good thing!
me
Rambling Out the Day
I had a friend email me last night saying, "What's with you and language today?"
Well, the gist of it is: Dang it! Analyzing something was better that the nothing I had to do. Those "nothings" that made the world go round. Those "nothings" that get noticed if nobody does them...a pack of wolves barking up your tree.
I am enjoying the joy of life...I AM! ...but, gosh, does anybody out there know why kids are out of school AFTER all these parties are over with? I can't do all this AND keep their studies up. Whew. Got daughter caught up today from missing one day for the play. One more missed day to go this week. And son's first big science report he is taking FOREVER to do.
This week? No joke...we have FOUR "must go to" parties--we want and need to be at all of them. Add nine theatre community shows, one city parade in twenty degree weather...skipping it, one cheerleading exibition tonight, after the first three theatre shows today? I'm pooped (meaning, tired).
I am dragging out the red sweater, donning the pink cheeks, smiling the great mom smiles as much as I can (when I'm not twisting the kids by their blessed little ears). I am cooking the snacks, having the parties, and loving the people. Making the season bright. Loving it!
Hopefully, I'm fueled up and can just keep going until January. In tired moments, I dream of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, A snowy January day, a Christian romance (I read one or two each winter...see margin for my latest selection of clean fun), and a bit of time to EXERCISE! Oh, to feel like I'm not cramming cheeseballs onto my rear end! I need to get down there and give that treadmill a run for it's money...but I'm just BUSY! A good kind of busy that will pass.
BUT, I've not had time to sit and pray or do my Bible Study all week. Is that okay? Is it just okay at times to just enjoy...make the party, be the smile? Do the thing? Last winter, I did the same. A few Christmases before that, my spirit was so heavy over burdens and concerns...I kept praying...yeah, but I really feel like I missed the fun of the whole holiday!
Not this year. We have lights out the ying yang (no sexual slur or inuendo intended there...origin of ying yang?...I've heard it all my life. Where do we get this stuff? Anyway...moving on...)
I know my life is getting too fast paced when my writing is filled with these little dots....like that(...)no beginning or end to sentences....just a lot of things and thoughts and stuff all running together. But, it's good....so far.
One three show day left this week, on Thursday. I made it through the first today, unbelievably. Maybe I will survive--I didn't have to be so much of a meanie poo today. Thought I did "hug" one "angel" for a great long time--more like physical confinement. He LOVED that. :-( They certainly did NOT typecast when they gave me my angel choir of 13. The number 13 itself may be a more accurate emphasis, but I'm not superstitious. Just observing.
Today's diet represents my state: Two chocolate poptarts and a milk to go. Two doughnuts and a milk while putting more makeup on cast. And Long John Silver's Fish and Chicken someone brought to the theatre. Ugggh.
I WANT SOME GOOD, REAL, FOOD!!!!
Supper. Tonight, that is scheduled to occur between 4:45 and 5:45. PTO at 6:30. Home at 8ish. Homework...then? Right.
Thanks for the response to yesterday's word analysis. A fun debate in a wild week. Feel free to step on my toes when you are too stressed and bored with resonsiblity. I'll try to humor you as well. I'll have to pick on you from time to time to see if you're still alive.
I get twenty minutes to rest my weary head, or cook supper. What to choose, what to choose?
Yes, I see what you mean, Los, today, I do not like the sound of my own voice! Icck. Too much "stuff". For times like this, God created snows. And one is headed right our way. For your CA folk...what does it take? Sickness? I hope not. Nothing like a good head cold to slow a person down! Ugggh.
Later!
me
Well, the gist of it is: Dang it! Analyzing something was better that the nothing I had to do. Those "nothings" that made the world go round. Those "nothings" that get noticed if nobody does them...a pack of wolves barking up your tree.
I am enjoying the joy of life...I AM! ...but, gosh, does anybody out there know why kids are out of school AFTER all these parties are over with? I can't do all this AND keep their studies up. Whew. Got daughter caught up today from missing one day for the play. One more missed day to go this week. And son's first big science report he is taking FOREVER to do.
This week? No joke...we have FOUR "must go to" parties--we want and need to be at all of them. Add nine theatre community shows, one city parade in twenty degree weather...skipping it, one cheerleading exibition tonight, after the first three theatre shows today? I'm pooped (meaning, tired).
I am dragging out the red sweater, donning the pink cheeks, smiling the great mom smiles as much as I can (when I'm not twisting the kids by their blessed little ears). I am cooking the snacks, having the parties, and loving the people. Making the season bright. Loving it!
Hopefully, I'm fueled up and can just keep going until January. In tired moments, I dream of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, A snowy January day, a Christian romance (I read one or two each winter...see margin for my latest selection of clean fun), and a bit of time to EXERCISE! Oh, to feel like I'm not cramming cheeseballs onto my rear end! I need to get down there and give that treadmill a run for it's money...but I'm just BUSY! A good kind of busy that will pass.
BUT, I've not had time to sit and pray or do my Bible Study all week. Is that okay? Is it just okay at times to just enjoy...make the party, be the smile? Do the thing? Last winter, I did the same. A few Christmases before that, my spirit was so heavy over burdens and concerns...I kept praying...yeah, but I really feel like I missed the fun of the whole holiday!
Not this year. We have lights out the ying yang (no sexual slur or inuendo intended there...origin of ying yang?...I've heard it all my life. Where do we get this stuff? Anyway...moving on...)
I know my life is getting too fast paced when my writing is filled with these little dots....like that(...)no beginning or end to sentences....just a lot of things and thoughts and stuff all running together. But, it's good....so far.
One three show day left this week, on Thursday. I made it through the first today, unbelievably. Maybe I will survive--I didn't have to be so much of a meanie poo today. Thought I did "hug" one "angel" for a great long time--more like physical confinement. He LOVED that. :-( They certainly did NOT typecast when they gave me my angel choir of 13. The number 13 itself may be a more accurate emphasis, but I'm not superstitious. Just observing.
Today's diet represents my state: Two chocolate poptarts and a milk to go. Two doughnuts and a milk while putting more makeup on cast. And Long John Silver's Fish and Chicken someone brought to the theatre. Ugggh.
I WANT SOME GOOD, REAL, FOOD!!!!
Supper. Tonight, that is scheduled to occur between 4:45 and 5:45. PTO at 6:30. Home at 8ish. Homework...then? Right.
Thanks for the response to yesterday's word analysis. A fun debate in a wild week. Feel free to step on my toes when you are too stressed and bored with resonsiblity. I'll try to humor you as well. I'll have to pick on you from time to time to see if you're still alive.
I get twenty minutes to rest my weary head, or cook supper. What to choose, what to choose?
Yes, I see what you mean, Los, today, I do not like the sound of my own voice! Icck. Too much "stuff". For times like this, God created snows. And one is headed right our way. For your CA folk...what does it take? Sickness? I hope not. Nothing like a good head cold to slow a person down! Ugggh.
Later!
me
12/05/2005
The Other "S" Word Defined
Okay, throughout the net there is ONE history or definition of the other "s" word, repeated, ver batim, over and over at every informational site on the net with no supporting evidence or refernce. Hmmm. Very scholarly. The next time I do research on "profanity", I'll have to broaden my sources.
Words interest me...sorry, maybe I'm some for of a geek or nerd--but, not your everyday variety. (I take comfort in being a different sort of geek, so what's your point?)
Here it is, straight from "THE NET":
"Some vulgarities have emerged from nonoffensive words that become offensive in a particular context. The word broad is decidedly nonoffensive, but when applied to a woman (potentially connected to the idea of broad hips) becomes vulgar. The slang word sucks emerged from a nonoffensive word for suction, and became a serious profanity as "sucking" became a euphemism for fellatio. As sucks grew in popularity, and was prolifically used in nonsexual contexts, and alternative nonsexual expansions of sucks emerged ("that sucks like a vacuum", "that sucks zucchini") it became decidedly less offensive, and is today considered a "PG"-phrase".
So, I suppose it is a word our generation is comfortable with...subsitutes of worse. Caught myself saying "screwed up" today...same principle. Our MasterLife class last week asked us to evaulate how we can improve our speech. I couldn't think of a thing...I don't swear, curse (okay, an occassional s word if I'm really overtaxed, irritable and stump my toe or something), but I hate it and try to get rid of it. Usually, no response is needed. I'm just blowing steam..and I'm blowing steam because I have not developed any real tried and true gentleness and patience yet...which scares me to death...I know how God develops those. No! No! Teach me the easy way!!!!!
Wikipedia adds this interesting factoid:
Neurological facts
The human brain treats swear words more like "automatic speech" than usual words. Non-profane examples of automatic speech includes placeholders like "um" and "er." This is why you are more likely shout a swear word then a regular word when shocked/damaged. It also explains why suffers of Tourettes Syndrome and other brain damage treat swear words differently. Some people may, due to brain damage, lose the ability to speak/pronounce all regular words but retain the ability to swear. Some studies indicate swear words are stored in the right lobe of the brain, others indicate they are stored equally in both the right and left basal ganglia, instead of mostly in the left hemisphere, where language function is usually stored.
Well, there you go. Enlightened?
Me
Words interest me...sorry, maybe I'm some for of a geek or nerd--but, not your everyday variety. (I take comfort in being a different sort of geek, so what's your point?)
Here it is, straight from "THE NET":
"Some vulgarities have emerged from nonoffensive words that become offensive in a particular context. The word broad is decidedly nonoffensive, but when applied to a woman (potentially connected to the idea of broad hips) becomes vulgar. The slang word sucks emerged from a nonoffensive word for suction, and became a serious profanity as "sucking" became a euphemism for fellatio. As sucks grew in popularity, and was prolifically used in nonsexual contexts, and alternative nonsexual expansions of sucks emerged ("that sucks like a vacuum", "that sucks zucchini") it became decidedly less offensive, and is today considered a "PG"-phrase".
So, I suppose it is a word our generation is comfortable with...subsitutes of worse. Caught myself saying "screwed up" today...same principle. Our MasterLife class last week asked us to evaulate how we can improve our speech. I couldn't think of a thing...I don't swear, curse (okay, an occassional s word if I'm really overtaxed, irritable and stump my toe or something), but I hate it and try to get rid of it. Usually, no response is needed. I'm just blowing steam..and I'm blowing steam because I have not developed any real tried and true gentleness and patience yet...which scares me to death...I know how God develops those. No! No! Teach me the easy way!!!!!
Wikipedia adds this interesting factoid:
Neurological facts
The human brain treats swear words more like "automatic speech" than usual words. Non-profane examples of automatic speech includes placeholders like "um" and "er." This is why you are more likely shout a swear word then a regular word when shocked/damaged. It also explains why suffers of Tourettes Syndrome and other brain damage treat swear words differently. Some people may, due to brain damage, lose the ability to speak/pronounce all regular words but retain the ability to swear. Some studies indicate swear words are stored in the right lobe of the brain, others indicate they are stored equally in both the right and left basal ganglia, instead of mostly in the left hemisphere, where language function is usually stored.
Well, there you go. Enlightened?
Me
Replay
I am wondering today if anybody knows what the origin of the slang word "sucks" is. It has sexual overtones to me, but I'm not sure. Perhaps I am unduly offended by the word. It's like, not considered to be actual cursing I don't think.
I ask because I've noticed a rather consistent pattern in Christian blogging if someone is wrestling with boredom, the mundane, insecurity...for them to say, "Well, this blog entry really sucks."
What is it sucking? It sucks, as in "it's really bad?" But, not really sucking on anything in particular? Or sucking on what others would suck on? Infants? Lovers? Animals? Something they all enjoy...which is a good thing, not a bad thing. I'm not judging, I'm just really confused. My brother uses the word often, he's military, and it's a lot better than most other stuff they say. I still try to get him to watch it around my kids. I don't want them saying it in particular.
It's not literal, I know. Most slang isn't, but for people who don't use the word regularly as slang to mean "yucky", what does the word do to the imagination of everyone else when we say it?
Well, enough on that, but why are we so derogatory toward our own lives anyway? Our own down times? Everybody has them. Everybody just feels like talking about nothing at times, rehashing the mundane. Letting people walk with them through... whatever... if they so wish, not really concerned with whether it looks fun, amusing, entertaining, exciting....just "being".
There must me many who enjoy just seeing other people's "normal" from site stats we all see. I wonder why we then excuse it?
I was reading a very funny, real, blog today that made this statement ("This entry sucks") and I thought, "I wonder why people are so hard on themselves for being 'authentic'? That's the whole draw! The mix of the raw. The vulnerable. The thoughts we all have.
I wonder if it is that if we judge our words ourselves, we feel we are less prone to be judged by others. I use that logic at times.
I wonder how God feels about the time I spend judging myself, criticiquing myself, analyzing myself? I mean, am still held accountable for what I do or don't do, where I go or don't go, how I use my mental energy and imaginations, irregardless of self critique or not. It's a good thing, but it has it's limits of usefulness for sure. What does He really want? Some have asked, "What would Jesus blog"? There is a book by that title I think...a cool take on blogging, "Today I created the heavens and the earth. Enjoy! ~God" sort of stuff. "Today I threw Jonah into the belly of a whale. Why...well,..."
But, this morning, in my own mind, I was trying to imagine Jesus trying to blog in our language and lingo... "Yo! Well. Today, let's see....went across the yard today, sat on a rock, prayed. Left. Came home. Joked with Mom. Went out. Saw some sick gross looking guy. Thought God told me to heal him. I did.
He never said, 'thanks'. So much for that.
Wonder if I did the right thing after all. People don't know what they want.
Anyway...got tired, went home. Ate lunch, and was thinking, I wondered why God had to say, 'there was nothing about his appearance that they should desire him'? Got the raw end of that deal. Thanks a lot God. Appreciate it. Great.
Anyway, went back out to find the guys......
well, you know what, this really sucks, I don't even know why I blog. I'll get back to you tomorrow when I have something better to say, or when I find something more exciting or amusing to talk about. See ya. "
None of us are like Jesus yet, but He is known as "the word"...so our words, our recollection styles must be important, the way the Bible is written without explanation or apology...it just is. Yet, we are so afraid to "be" whatever we are and be comfortable with it as significant, part of the plan. But, I bet it is! Just as much as His every step was. Every prayer. Every time he touched someone. Yet, he neither puffed it up, nor downplayed it. We are such an entertainment driven generation I guess. Would Jesus's ministry look any different if He were planted in our generation, though, to appeal to the masses better?
I wonder today if it's not in our replay that we miss the signifcance of all the "gold" truly going on around us. Every little thing about Jesus him was fore-ordained. His looks, his personality, his tendancies...yet He was perfect in it. In all His fleshly tendancies, He was most happy, most joyful, most content, and fulfilled when every bit and aspect of His being was bring glory to the Father. No, we are not Jesus, but still...He is in us. I want the joy! I want that walk. That blog.
Well, that was deep.
Back to laundry.
Me
I ask because I've noticed a rather consistent pattern in Christian blogging if someone is wrestling with boredom, the mundane, insecurity...for them to say, "Well, this blog entry really sucks."
What is it sucking? It sucks, as in "it's really bad?" But, not really sucking on anything in particular? Or sucking on what others would suck on? Infants? Lovers? Animals? Something they all enjoy...which is a good thing, not a bad thing. I'm not judging, I'm just really confused. My brother uses the word often, he's military, and it's a lot better than most other stuff they say. I still try to get him to watch it around my kids. I don't want them saying it in particular.
It's not literal, I know. Most slang isn't, but for people who don't use the word regularly as slang to mean "yucky", what does the word do to the imagination of everyone else when we say it?
Well, enough on that, but why are we so derogatory toward our own lives anyway? Our own down times? Everybody has them. Everybody just feels like talking about nothing at times, rehashing the mundane. Letting people walk with them through... whatever... if they so wish, not really concerned with whether it looks fun, amusing, entertaining, exciting....just "being".
There must me many who enjoy just seeing other people's "normal" from site stats we all see. I wonder why we then excuse it?
I was reading a very funny, real, blog today that made this statement ("This entry sucks") and I thought, "I wonder why people are so hard on themselves for being 'authentic'? That's the whole draw! The mix of the raw. The vulnerable. The thoughts we all have.
I wonder if it is that if we judge our words ourselves, we feel we are less prone to be judged by others. I use that logic at times.
I wonder how God feels about the time I spend judging myself, criticiquing myself, analyzing myself? I mean, am still held accountable for what I do or don't do, where I go or don't go, how I use my mental energy and imaginations, irregardless of self critique or not. It's a good thing, but it has it's limits of usefulness for sure. What does He really want? Some have asked, "What would Jesus blog"? There is a book by that title I think...a cool take on blogging, "Today I created the heavens and the earth. Enjoy! ~God" sort of stuff. "Today I threw Jonah into the belly of a whale. Why...well,..."
But, this morning, in my own mind, I was trying to imagine Jesus trying to blog in our language and lingo... "Yo! Well. Today, let's see....went across the yard today, sat on a rock, prayed. Left. Came home. Joked with Mom. Went out. Saw some sick gross looking guy. Thought God told me to heal him. I did.
He never said, 'thanks'. So much for that.
Wonder if I did the right thing after all. People don't know what they want.
Anyway...got tired, went home. Ate lunch, and was thinking, I wondered why God had to say, 'there was nothing about his appearance that they should desire him'? Got the raw end of that deal. Thanks a lot God. Appreciate it. Great.
Anyway, went back out to find the guys......
well, you know what, this really sucks, I don't even know why I blog. I'll get back to you tomorrow when I have something better to say, or when I find something more exciting or amusing to talk about. See ya. "
None of us are like Jesus yet, but He is known as "the word"...so our words, our recollection styles must be important, the way the Bible is written without explanation or apology...it just is. Yet, we are so afraid to "be" whatever we are and be comfortable with it as significant, part of the plan. But, I bet it is! Just as much as His every step was. Every prayer. Every time he touched someone. Yet, he neither puffed it up, nor downplayed it. We are such an entertainment driven generation I guess. Would Jesus's ministry look any different if He were planted in our generation, though, to appeal to the masses better?
I wonder today if it's not in our replay that we miss the signifcance of all the "gold" truly going on around us. Every little thing about Jesus him was fore-ordained. His looks, his personality, his tendancies...yet He was perfect in it. In all His fleshly tendancies, He was most happy, most joyful, most content, and fulfilled when every bit and aspect of His being was bring glory to the Father. No, we are not Jesus, but still...He is in us. I want the joy! I want that walk. That blog.
Well, that was deep.
Back to laundry.
Me
Holy Days
Vocalunion what a treat! My family enjoyed the strains of a cappella last night. We were dressed in red and full of cheer.
Today, laundry, last minute projects, and lots of bussle. Need to catch up on MasterLife, put away about four loads of laundry, and finish scapbook orders for the school scrapbooks.
I want to curl up and wind down for a while...but, not this week.
Merry Christmas! to you, or if you prefer, Happy Holidays ("Holy Days"!...shhhh....don't tell mass marketers!)
me
12/03/2005
Made to Be Woman
Last night: first holiday party. A wonderful, healing, apple cider with cinnamon time of indulgence for me.
However, daughter was delivered back home during the party....throwing up, diarrhea, blek. But, she enjoyed the girl time with us. And I enjoyed her being there with me.
Wonderful time of pictures, girl stuff, and my first ham on Hawaiian bread with Miracle Whip, Mexican Sausage Rotel Cheese dip, and Peppermint Bark of the season. Candles lit all over the house. Lights everywhere. I loved it. Well worth all the stress of trying to stay ahead last week.
A moment worth making.
9-11AM Saturday. Cleaning up vomit and diarrhea smell. Uggh. Missing Mom's Christmas family reunion, trying to get daughter rested for her first big theatre production tonight. Mom took the boys for me (praise God in heaven above!) We made a quick impromptu trip to the big city for Office Depot's computer sale. One heck of a system. Our friend, Kyak (new blogger! go say "hi, keep it up") will be so proud!
Windows XP Media. I look forward to making some DVDs with sound, lights, and music! I look forward to 1GB of RAM, and a 19" LED screen...we'll use it for a second TV some, justifying the huge sounding and uncharacteristic splurge for us. Burning my own screened CD labels? Sounds like good backup for my CDs...you know, the ones I can't make backups for now they are so scratched?
Well, I'm going to do something equally as uncharacteristic and try to write a poem soon. Maybe tonight. My heart feels so full.
While I'm thinking....daughter went to her production tonight...opening night, she was the best "extra" angel I've ever seen! I had a much better time tonight as stage mom and I think it will only get better as we figure out what the director wants and know when to do it! (The director slipped and fell and nearly broke everything yesterday...her on pain meds was interesting tonight!)
My attempt at poetry from such a full day:
I Was Made to Be Woman
A house full of spices and holiday smells
Jeweled Styophome Crystal, the stories it tells
Candlelight, friendship, hearts all aglow
Hoping an inkling we'll soon see some snow
Feverish Goldilocks, not feeling so swell
Bed close to mom as nightfall fell
Fashion how-tos and ballroom delights
Moments made for treasuring this holiday night
Nativity play; now she's a star
Rested and ready, knowing her part
So anxious and proud, family crowd
I was made to be woman for moments like this
Home to my boys, all ready for love
Kisses and hugs, gifts saved from the day
"Mommy I haven't hugged you ALL DAY!"
I was made to be woman for moments like this
Cuddles at bedtime, beg me to stay
Giggles, foot wrestles, hummed music played
Trips to the bathroom, checking the clock
Arms around mom...gentle snores fall
Husband wakens me, whispers, "It's time for bed"
Tired, and ready, I follow his lead
Snuggles and kisses, goodnight's are said.
I was made to be woman for days like this.
The warmth of my man, his soft easy smell
The strength of his shoulders,
Intoxication of breath
Every dream ever dreamt,
book read, wish spent
I was made to be woman for moments like this.
Fulfilled, spent, living life full
Loved and loving, tonight, all pooled
Whole picture, complete ( God make me more!)
I was made to me woman for memories like this
Me!
However, daughter was delivered back home during the party....throwing up, diarrhea, blek. But, she enjoyed the girl time with us. And I enjoyed her being there with me.
Wonderful time of pictures, girl stuff, and my first ham on Hawaiian bread with Miracle Whip, Mexican Sausage Rotel Cheese dip, and Peppermint Bark of the season. Candles lit all over the house. Lights everywhere. I loved it. Well worth all the stress of trying to stay ahead last week.
A moment worth making.
9-11AM Saturday. Cleaning up vomit and diarrhea smell. Uggh. Missing Mom's Christmas family reunion, trying to get daughter rested for her first big theatre production tonight. Mom took the boys for me (praise God in heaven above!) We made a quick impromptu trip to the big city for Office Depot's computer sale. One heck of a system. Our friend, Kyak (new blogger! go say "hi, keep it up") will be so proud!
Windows XP Media. I look forward to making some DVDs with sound, lights, and music! I look forward to 1GB of RAM, and a 19" LED screen...we'll use it for a second TV some, justifying the huge sounding and uncharacteristic splurge for us. Burning my own screened CD labels? Sounds like good backup for my CDs...you know, the ones I can't make backups for now they are so scratched?
Well, I'm going to do something equally as uncharacteristic and try to write a poem soon. Maybe tonight. My heart feels so full.
While I'm thinking....daughter went to her production tonight...opening night, she was the best "extra" angel I've ever seen! I had a much better time tonight as stage mom and I think it will only get better as we figure out what the director wants and know when to do it! (The director slipped and fell and nearly broke everything yesterday...her on pain meds was interesting tonight!)
My attempt at poetry from such a full day:
I Was Made to Be Woman
A house full of spices and holiday smells
Jeweled Styophome Crystal, the stories it tells
Candlelight, friendship, hearts all aglow
Hoping an inkling we'll soon see some snow
Feverish Goldilocks, not feeling so swell
Bed close to mom as nightfall fell
Fashion how-tos and ballroom delights
Moments made for treasuring this holiday night
Nativity play; now she's a star
Rested and ready, knowing her part
So anxious and proud, family crowd
I was made to be woman for moments like this
Home to my boys, all ready for love
Kisses and hugs, gifts saved from the day
"Mommy I haven't hugged you ALL DAY!"
I was made to be woman for moments like this
Cuddles at bedtime, beg me to stay
Giggles, foot wrestles, hummed music played
Trips to the bathroom, checking the clock
Arms around mom...gentle snores fall
Husband wakens me, whispers, "It's time for bed"
Tired, and ready, I follow his lead
Snuggles and kisses, goodnight's are said.
I was made to be woman for days like this.
The warmth of my man, his soft easy smell
The strength of his shoulders,
Intoxication of breath
Every dream ever dreamt,
book read, wish spent
I was made to be woman for moments like this.
Fulfilled, spent, living life full
Loved and loving, tonight, all pooled
Whole picture, complete ( God make me more!)
I was made to me woman for memories like this
Me!
12/01/2005
To Not Do
This day has had so many major frustrating moments in it...if it weren't for a few friends doing a few sweet things, showing courtesy, going out of their way to back track to find me, I'd be in a heap of tears.
But, as it is, I will go fix myself a Mexican Meltdown plate loaded with cheese and relish in the late evening hours of peace before Friday's "to do" list begins. For now..."to not do".
me
But, as it is, I will go fix myself a Mexican Meltdown plate loaded with cheese and relish in the late evening hours of peace before Friday's "to do" list begins. For now..."to not do".
me
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