Goals and Purposes

Today is better. I can get up. I mopped. Did some cleaning.

I can't swallow yet, but...who needs that anyway? One thing at a time. I CAN move my head without sever pain and nasea today. Improving.

Can finally read again. Good thing...I've seen so much fashion TV I was going to out-style everyone I know. Just kidding. You'd have to live in NYC to get away with wearing what those girls wear. For only "under $300" I got this fabulous bag/coat/dress! Gracious. Who buys like that? Get a life. I think the designers are lying to make us feel better about our $40.00 purchases...when, most times, THAT is too high for the number of times we wear many things offered. Off that soap box.

Trying to catch up on my study some. This week is on your life purpose and goals. Funny I had that on the brain the week before.

I work on those myself at times, but really REALLY hate it when somebody asks me. (Yeah, I know...I asked you guys a week or so ago, and I even did part of mine.) But, I always realize how short I'm falling. Why review is imporant, I know.

This is very specific in terms of-- what am I doing to reach specific goals so that in the end, I find I've hit my life's overarching purpose.

What vision has God revealed to me for my life?

Overall, I can see the direction He has had me so this far, and how people walkinig me through this process in high school laid the foundation for important life choices I've made so far.

Still, it always still feels like a looming question no matter how many times you answer it...even if you always arrive at the same answer! I suppose it's the nagging feeling that you just aren't there yet. Not where you want to be. Not hitting the mark as much as you'd like.

In that, a refining process, I suppose. In not "in the mood" to be refined after this week's fire already. But, here we go. A tough week to submit to that kind of thinking...but, maybe where God wanted me. Quiet. Alone. Me and him. Stillness. Pain. Fever. Dependant on others. Helpless. Able to center down. Get back to basic(--breathing, standing, etc.)

So, meeting my goal for today? Being with my kids, getting caught up on some cleaning, catching up on Bible Study. Hard to see how all this points to a great life goal...all these tiny, mundane things. And my attitude gets so rotten at times doing the daily grind. I wish I were that cheerful little being like my Mother-in-law, throwing sunshine into the world with every plate washed. My mom HATED housework. She grew a garden out of this world...loved to be outside, make us clothes, built her house with my Dad. She WORKED hard. But, she just didn't like doing housework inside. So, I find myself groaning through it myself. Knowing that's where I need to be, trying to follow examples to help me enjoy it more, and doing it...but most times with more of a grunt than a smile. I still have time and God is going to get me there. Probably not while I have a cold, but someday.

Mainly, I've been drawn this week to Biblical examples where their faith in where they were headed was key. If they doubted, they lost the battles to invisible giants already.

I don't want to lose like that. If I lose fighting my heart out...that's okay. But, I won't. In Him, we always win. Somehow. He even redeems our losses. Quite a deal.

Not doubting and wasting so much time questioning. Knowing what I know...believing the promises of the word more and more and living within that truth. No self doubt. No doubting him. Where he leads and guides...I try to follow. I hope he shows me that map, but sometimes he reveals that part we want to see...sometimes not. And...here we go, getting to my main point and fear I suppose...that's okay. If I don't have a great new revelation to write down in my book, that's okay. If I'm still mopping the floor, being with my kids, and surviving...that's part of it. A big part of it.

Times of frustration make us want to doubt...and He understands.

If I can just keep hearing Him in priorities, everything else will fall into place and fill my life with worthy things.

Well, the kids need help with lunch, the laundry buzzer buzzes, and I'm getting low on energy myself. On to fulfilling my life's goals and purposes.


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